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I've been having a drink here and there, I dont feel like ho

apq8's picture
[2285]

I've been having a drink here and there, I dont feel like holding back anymore. On Saturday I drank a whole bottle of wine, all by myself. I drank it like water. And I just want to keep doing it. I'm sick and tired of being depressed all the freakin time, this is the only legal thing that takes off the edge. (Weed is not legal in the state that I am in). Right now I see no point in being sober if I'm going to continue to feeling this crappy.

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[520]
May 14

I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. I understand the lure of wanting to drown your pain in substances like alcohol, drugs and even food. It sounds like you are in a dark place right now. I pray that you seriously consider going to an AA meeting. It is so difficult to manage these temptations on your own. Have you considered getting involved in activities that might keep your mind off of the alcohol at the worst times? Perhaps an evening workout, bible study or volunteering at a local charity that you are interested in. Try to surround yourself with people who will lift you up and encourage you. Finally, if you are able to do this. Close your eyes and imagine the road you are going down. Where will this lead you? Is this what you want out of your life? Now imagine one small change that might get you on the path to healing. AA meetings, involvement in uplifting encouraging groups, confiding in close friends or family, regularly seeing your doctor, praying, reading the bible, listening to music that soothes your soul. So often we don't realize where the path leads us when we are making decisions to minimize pain that we are in. I encourage you to fight for yourself. I pray you can do this. Sending you strength from afar.

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[1420]
May 15

Each time I got off the wagon, alcohol flowed like water for me too. I have to stay away. The drowning feels good, until the next day.

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apq8's picture
[2285]
May 18

Its 8am and i feel like I need a drink already.

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