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i messed up. everything has been hitting me so hard recently

[315]

i messed up. everything has been hitting me so hard recently and i've tried so hard to stay sober. i had 102 days clean. i messed it up with one night of extreme anxiety. i only had one beer and it helped so much for the moment. im really trying.... back on one day now sober. i dont want to go back to my old lifestyle. im really trying. i havent been able to get to meetings this week yet.. its going so bad.

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[76455]
Jan 11

@mechele
I agree with you @mechele, I don't know that I would start over at day one. I have done it too, in the past and losing the days I had accumulated actually was more damaging psychologically than the beer. I thought to myself, "Well I blew it, so I might as well drink," so I did and spent several days drunk. With one beer, I would call it a red flag and go onto day 103. Now if you would have spent the day drunk, that's another story. @mechele, you have 12 years sobriety, can we call this a flat tire, a bump in the road, a temporary loss of sanity and move on to the 103? What does the official book say?

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mechele's picture
[144095]
Jan 12

@Ducktape yes, duck...I agree that starting over with this one is not necessary...if it had been a drunken night of bingeing I would say yes a start over is needed, but one beer does not constitute a full blown crisis in MY book...dont know about the big book.... I never got that far in AA, luckily I was able to get thru this on my own! See? Miracles DO happen! Lol
Sawyer, I hope things have called back down and hopefully you are on day 114 or something like that... let us know how you are doing!

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[295]
Jan 12

I'm sorry you are feeling discouraged. Have you considered speaking with a counselor to help with your anxiety? You can discuss your situation with a Focus counselor at no cost to you by calling 855-382-5433. I'll be praying for you!

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