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i messed up. everything has been hitting me so hard recently

i messed up. everything has been hitting me so hard recently and i've tried so hard to stay sober. i had 102 days clean. i messed it up with one night of extreme anxiety. i only had one beer and it helped so much for the moment. im really trying.... back on one day now sober. i dont want to go back to my old lifestyle. im really trying. i havent been able to get to meetings this week yet.. its going so bad.

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Jan 11, 2018

I agree with you @mechele, I don't know that I would start over at day one. I have done it too, in the past and losing the days I had accumulated actually was more damaging psychologically than the beer. I thought to myself, "Well I blew it, so I might as well drink," so I did and spent several days drunk. With one beer, I would call it a red flag and go onto day 103. Now if you would have spent the day drunk, that's another story. @mechele, you have 12 years sobriety, can we call this a flat tire, a bump in the road, a temporary loss of sanity and move on to the 103? What does the official book say?

mechele's picture
Jan 12, 2018

@Ducktape yes, duck...I agree that starting over with this one is not necessary...if it had been a drunken night of bingeing I would say yes a start over is needed, but one beer does not constitute a full blown crisis in MY book...dont know about the big book.... I never got that far in AA, luckily I was able to get thru this on my own! See? Miracles DO happen! Lol
Sawyer, I hope things have called back down and hopefully you are on day 114 or something like that... let us know how you are doing!

Jan 12, 2018

I'm sorry you are feeling discouraged. Have you considered speaking with a counselor to help with your anxiety? You can discuss your situation with a Focus counselor at no cost to you by calling 855-382-5433. I'll be praying for you!


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