Newest Blog is out, Support is Necessary!!!
Make sure to click READ MORE to see the full article. -SG
https://www.supportgroups.com/blog/support-is-necessary or click BLOG on the GREEN menu bar

I don't know what's going on with me. Lately, my drinking ha

I don't know what's going on with me. Lately, my drinking has become worse. I'm not happy about it and I feel so disconnected in my relationship. Last night he told me, "to choose drinking or him" and I said, "that I choose him" but deep down I want drinking. I like the feeling and I know it's wrong. I know that if I keep drinking as much as I am it can lead to a very dark path. I'm attending an AA meeting tonight and I think that's a big step. I guess what hurts the most is that I wish he was more comforting. He makes me feel like a bad person. Tells me,"that I'm an alcoholic and I have a problem" it not only difficult to hear that because I obviously know that but the way he says it really breaks my heart. I don't feel loved. He shared with me that he doesn't love my imperfections and I'm so heart broken because when I love someone I love every inch of them including the bad and the ugly. At this point all I can think and ask myself is if he truly loves me? I'm doubting everything and so conflicted. I feel so alone in this relationship and it's heartbreaking. It would be so easy for me to grab that bottle of vodka and drink it all down. I don't feel like a priority in this relationship. I don't ask for every second of his time but attending to me when I need it the most shouldn't be to much to ask for. I would do it for him. I just don't understand. It's come to the point where I hide the alcohol and have to shower and wash my mouth so I don't smell like it. I do all this when he's at work. At times I'm even open and honest with him that I've been drinking but even then it becomes an argument. I feel so disappointed with myself because I had to say something.

show more ⇓
Comment
 14
View 11 More Comments
Bloodstone2020's picture
[1330]
Oct 15

@Bloodstone2020 I would say that getting rid of all the alcohol in the house and your continued visits to AA should immediately signal that you are serious about quitting. The weed is still a way of getting high, so still a problem...depends how much really. A couple of puffs at the end of day for example to help you sleep should be no big deal. Have you tried Smart Recovery groups? Smart is Cognitive Behavior Therapy oriented. Other types of groups? Private or group therapeutic counseling? Meditation retreats? Going to the gym every day? So much out there to keep trying. Question: if you were simply to quit getting high altogether Right Now and stay sober for the next month, would your relationship problems resolve themselves? Is your getting high the only reason he has for not loving you the way you want/need? Peace

Reply
[820]
Oct 12

I don't get high everyday I just recently started smoking again (two days ago) after many years. So smoking is not an issue for me all at. It helps me with my anxiety and sleep for sure. I've been to therapy many times and in the process of finding another one but one that works best for me. I also have an appointment with a psychologist later this month. I do want to get in mediation so definitely in to do some research on that. I know the gym would really work for me but people around a lot people right just gives me more anxiety

Reply
Bloodstone2020's picture
[1330]
Oct 15

@HaveFaith18 Something that's not really meditation, but I find meditative, is walks in the park, where just try to enjoy the surroundings. And there's no pressure to interact with people if I don't feel like it. I don't do this, but I see some wearing shades and with earphones on, who clearly are letting it be known they don't want to be disturbed. You can choose how open you want to be according to how your are feeling at the time. Just a suggestion, since you mentioned people and the anxiety they may trigger. I love weed, but rarely smoke it now. Don't like the idea of putting smoke in my lungs after working hard to keep them clean. Also weed and alcohol sends me down a slippery slope, then suddenly I'm binge drinking and eating! Just hitting my groups before getting to sleep. Good night. Peace

Reply

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account