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hi, im new to this group and this situation but i would love

hi, im new to this group and this situation but i would love some advice. My new boyfriend suffers from depression and is an alocholic. Things became very out of control a few months ago when he was suffereing from complications after a recent surgery. I spent days terrified of where he would dissappear at night, tried taking the keys to stop him leaving the house, worried for his safety due to the depression and what he may try to do - they were very dark days. Eventually he went to hosptail for treatment for the alcohol and complications. When he came out things had improved dramatically but he was unfortunatley he was still drinking a little. However evenings were now spent at home, watching movies and cooking together and i could finally sleep and not worry what may happen while i slept. Things were really looking up. He got a job nearby which was in a very isolated and quiet area compared to the area we had lived which was in a big party scene which didnt help. He was excited for this job to be away from tempation and also there was an active AA community. A few days ago, he got hit by a truck and broke his hand and lost his job, though i have a feeling things may have also slipped in my absence. I was also offered a job at the same company to make matters worse im in a differnet country waiting to join him due to paperwork issues. He wanted to get in touch with the local AA community before he arrived in this new place and I feel like i let him down by not checking this happened and making sure he did make contact. His new (now ex) boss has rallied the local aa commuity to help him in the last few days which again i feel i should have done more to help, but so greatful for them. They are organising him to go back into rehab tomorrow and i hate being so far away to help. I also just found out yesterday that an old uni friend died from this affliction and i was terrified for my boyfriend, especially yesterday when i couldnt get hold of him and spent all night scare out of my mind that he had tried to take his own life, which i know he has tried in the past. I feel so alone at the moment, not only away from him, but away from people who i can openly disscuss this with. I feel most of my friends say the words but are in a hurry to change the subject so i don't say anything to them anymore. Any help or words that anyone can offer as to how i can help him that would be very appricated. Thanks so much

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May 13

Frankie ...I'm sorry to here about your situation..there's a program named Al-non you might want to look into..I think it could be very helpful!

Hang in there,


May 14

@Irishfighter Thank you for your kind words and for suggesting this. I found a group nearby for wedneday evening which i hope will be helpful, or at the least meet others in a similar situations - thanks again

May 15

I would recommend Al-Anon. If there are no meetings in your area you can always join an online group. You may want to bring up some of their literature online first. Hope that helps.


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