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Hi all. Hope I'm in the right place. My partner of 3yrs dran

[9600]

Hi all. Hope I'm in the right place. My partner of 3yrs drank beer heavily when we met. When we got together he gave that up and went to wine. When we fight and it runs into his wine time (after 5pm) he can get so mean. I have no problem with him having up to 3 glasses a night, but it sometimes runs over. I've never asked him to stop either beer or wine. His choice. He stopped for over a week and I so loved that time. But he's back on it. I was very upset when he spoke to me (completley sober like a child) . I cry when upset, can't help that. Once the wine set in, he informed me I need to get some balls if I'm going to do mens work (I was mowing the grass) . Long story short, he got nastier. I left, it was dark and we're in the country. He made no attempt to call me, just drank more and went to bed. Turned every light out and locked the doors. I had a key but it was a message to me. He adores me when sober. Finished up I had to pick him off the floor and carry him back to bed. But this morning I find he took, I think 1 1/2 sleeping tablets on top of the alcohol. I don't now how to respond when he gets up. I don't want to one day find him dead in bed. Please help.

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Bloodstone2020's picture
[4795]
Oct 18

@CF2 Well, I can only try to put myself in his shoes from a great distance at this point. And first thought (with many more needed): You two are obviously of different minds and temperament based solely on your reaction to the house selling. I wonder exactly what details about selling the house are stressing him out? And what consequences for his actions he is considering too. Are you responding to the same facts? Then too, two people can look at exactly the same scenario, knowing exactly the same facts, and one person can be emotionally triggered to tears and the other may laugh; I picked two extreme responses to make a point here. Can't tell you how stressed out or not I would be about selling my house. What meaning(s) this would have. You are exactly right though: "Doesn't even have to be anything that big." Is it sad that selling the house is stressing him out and he finds too hard to cope with? Can look at this, this way; can look at it other ways too. Seems like it always gets down to one's subjective experience of some event and the perspective we saddle up on. Then too the way we are emotionally wired. Our relationships to people and things (including ideas) are never as simple as they seem on the surface, right? Hope the house selling goes smoothly. Peace

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Nellie57's picture
[910]
Oct 18

@SuZQ154
I'm glad she is here to, I agree with your message.

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[3380]
Oct 20

Glad you feel like you had a wake-up call. I understand that feeling! What are you doing differently now?

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