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Hi all. Hope I'm in the right place. My partner of 3yrs dran

[9590]

Hi all. Hope I'm in the right place. My partner of 3yrs drank beer heavily when we met. When we got together he gave that up and went to wine. When we fight and it runs into his wine time (after 5pm) he can get so mean. I have no problem with him having up to 3 glasses a night, but it sometimes runs over. I've never asked him to stop either beer or wine. His choice. He stopped for over a week and I so loved that time. But he's back on it. I was very upset when he spoke to me (completley sober like a child) . I cry when upset, can't help that. Once the wine set in, he informed me I need to get some balls if I'm going to do mens work (I was mowing the grass) . Long story short, he got nastier. I left, it was dark and we're in the country. He made no attempt to call me, just drank more and went to bed. Turned every light out and locked the doors. I had a key but it was a message to me. He adores me when sober. Finished up I had to pick him off the floor and carry him back to bed. But this morning I find he took, I think 1 1/2 sleeping tablets on top of the alcohol. I don't now how to respond when he gets up. I don't want to one day find him dead in bed. Please help.

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[9590]
14 hours ago

@Bloodstone2020 I think what makes him angry at me is, I'm the one there. There's nobody else to blame for what he's doing to himself. Easy target.

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Bloodstone2020's picture
[1300]
13 hours ago

@CF2 That drunk/sober split in personality/behavior is something else. I am a happy drunk, 90% of the time. But what you say is profound. "Easy Target" is a great title for a poem about the wife of an alcoholic. When drunk, irritations are amplified and filters down and restraints released, behavior can get extreme. It's like, I am getting drunk to be happy and you are going to do something not to enter into my universe and enhance my happiness, how dare you? I've gone off on my wife, kids, waiters....as you say, easy targets...and some targets that were not so easy and put me at risk of getting my *** kicked. But this is what drunk men do. You know. Nothing new here. A drunk young man full of testosterone, alcohol, and anabolic steroids is a walking time bomb. Will go down and take everyone down with him. It is encouraging that you are talking and that he adores you when sober and pulled back to simply wine and beer...although he may cheat a little to lot when you don't know it. Somethings must be eating at him; and others in this group have mentioned this too. You already know this is a drag. Have to say, married now since 1981, the worst is long gone and we are not perfect together, by a long shot, but we are together, and love each other. We recognize we both have our faults, fight and argue, here and there, but keep having some really good and deep times. You want someone who understands you deeply and who you understand on the same levels, right? It's a struggle, but worth it when you know the deal and see how much unhappiness there is all around you. Some days, I say f.u. c. k this and f.u. c. k that; some days I'm filled with amazing gratitude and love. It's a process that never ends, until, of course it finally does...it always does in the end...for all of us....but then, it won't matter....the game will be over... and we do rest in total peace. Peace

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Bloodstone2020's picture
[1300]
10 hours ago

God bless you CF2 and Emmy. Peace

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