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Hello. Well, my ex has been gone since May. Jail for a few

Hello. Well, my ex has been gone since May. Jail for a few weeks then went to NY to a rehab because of his alcoholism and addictions. He was supposed to stay there for 18 months. I have had no contact with him up until last week. Well, I did not respond and blocked him. I have a restraining order on him and I was told if he violated this he will go to jail. His court date is on the 14th. Well, the day he left he tried calling me pretending to be my nephew. I answered the call heard his voice and hung up. His friend I guess paid a cab from NY to NH over 500$! to get back here. He then tried contacting me here on the phone. I have not responded. I blocked the number. Again he tried on another number saying that he wishes we could be friends. First, we have a restraining order and 2nd I don't know what is the truth from him anymore. He has not attempted to come to the house. I need complete no contact I see this. Our 8 year old, she doesnt understand and misses him so much. Im hoping he doesnt try to contact our 15 year old. She has her own phone and she has no clue (neither one of them) that hes in our town. My friend says I should report that hes calling me. Idk, from what Im hearing hes going to AA one or 2 times a day and looking for work. I just dont know... All I know is that its peaceful at home now and noone is super stressed anymore.

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Nellie57's picture
Nov 11

Hi keep doing the right thing, stick with the restraining order, try not to let your guard down. He is still very sick and lying, a leopard don't change his spots over night. You were in a cycle of abuse, you have to try not to break that cycle of abuse. Think of the Impact it will have on the children and you if you go back now. I shouldn't give advice but I grew up with this from my moms boyfriend and her 3rd husband, it messed us kids up for a long time, I still go for counselling for it and did it for years before. Do you have P.T.S.D? or your children? Can you go to a womans shelter if you need too? Stay safe and keep us posted. I 've also been where you have been to a certain degree.

Nov 15

@Nellie57 I don't know if I have PTSD. Sometimes I wonder if my 15 year old does. She has been through allot of his **** with me and has witnessed some of his crazy episodes. Im doing my best to stay away. I spoke to the victims advocate through my city I did tell her he was contacting me but I wasn't responding. She made me feel like I was stupid that I didn't report it. But.. to be honest I have in the past and it did nothing. He has never really been punished. Always comes out like he is the victim. She was saying to me well if he's contacting you because he wants to see you daughter he should do it legally. Id say about 80% of what he has sent me or voicemails have nothing to do with wanting to see our daughter. He accuses me of dating guys or he's sending me messages saying its over between us. One message he sent me pics of his body!?!?! I found it weird.

Nellie57's picture
Nov 17

Hi sounds like maybe I would get my phone number changed, and try to get for you to get some free counselling if possible. Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Have you gotten to the police station to tell them what has gone on here lately with the picture? this sounds creepy.


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