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Does anyone else go through those cycles of “fake it until

Does anyone else go through those cycles of “fake it until you make it” then “scream until you pass out. Wake up still screaming. Then push your recovery below making up for how this inconvenienced people”? I asked some people to block me. I actually will probably delete their phone numbers too. While today I made a variety of mistakes, I also made some strong progressive steps. The scenarios and people that lock-me-into/I-lick-into a blame-shame-selfsabotage cycle I am cutting out of my life. I love them. They love me. And we all love ourselves. All the same, recovery depends on not doing this dance. It would be so much easier to be okay if I knew that when I fall down, I have limited the damage so that when I pick myself back up, I don’t have to spend my progress fixing things that can’t be fixed. Can anyone shout an amen? Or, an, I think you should consider Oprah and a straight jacket. I would love to hear from people on all stages of the journey to recovery.

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[445]
Jul 12

@kerst1 i had one relapse, i quit drinking and was clean as well from drugs for two weeks and never drank again but did drugs for 6 months after that 2 week clean stretch. Since then been clean over 20 years. I think of it like "i am an addict and the problem is me" even after all this time. Still addictive behaviors and life isn't always easy. Drugs and drinking though I am certain will always make it worse. Congrats on the 5 months! many never see that. Be proud every moment of that regardless of what else is going on. Always stay honest. With yourself, those close to you and if you can, with god.

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[860]
Jul 12

I wasn't 100% sure of what you are trying to ask hear, but to move forward I do know you cannot look back. "Strain hard to discipline yourself, to win this race, That you may be come an OVER COMER." Put people in your life who are wise, encouraging and supportive of you.
I have a sister who goes back and falls right back into her old way of living, old (so called friends).She feels lost and in secure in the world outside of alcohol. You have to be absolutely 100% sure you are ready to get out of there, before starting a new life over will work. You have to be willing to give up 100% of your old life, (FRIENDS and all...) And be willing to trust in those who are willing to help you. None of us ever know when we are going to fall down, that is why it is important to have those wise and encouraging friends and family to us get back up on our feet. Those broken pieces are some day going make something beautiful in your life.
Remember you are not alone! we all have some problem that we struggle with, it might not be alcohol, but it might be money or anger, how we look, shyness, self worth...We all have the choice OF HOW we decide to live.

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Thanks for all the wisdom and encouragement

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