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So I have been in a relationship with a man for 9 months and

So I have been in a relationship with a man for 9 months and yet sometimes it’s hard for me to reach out to him when he’s in a funk. He has agoraphobia and I sometimes and very unclear about how to get through to him in order for us to have a date. He enjoys cars and he likes working on them so I tell him if he has anxiety issues maybe instead of going out we can work on his car to find something he will enjoy and at the same time being able to spend time with him, but lately he’s been losing interest in cars and he just wants to watch movies. I’d love to start going on dates to places in Jacksonville but his anxiety wont let him. I’ve asked if maybe we can go 5 miles one day and then the next day 5 more miles until we get into Jacksonville just to dip his toes in the water, I don’t want to push him too far but at the same time It’s hard to watch him allow his anxiety get the best of him and allowing it to control his life. So those who suffer from agoraphobia and maybe who have loved ones with it, what can I do to maybe help? Or should I just back off when he’s in these funks?

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@SeeingBeyondDarkness we actually used to go to car shows every Saturday he still goes occasionally but I am also in college and have a very busy schedule. So he goes sometimes by himself. His anxiety is not nearly as bad as it was so we do get to go out and do things sometimes we just end up canceling plans because of his anxiety and I just wanted to get some opinions about what I should do in those moments when his anxiety gets bad.

SeeingBeyondDarkness's picture
Aug 13

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I think maybe try to help him be comfortable in the uncomfortable. When my anxiety the first thing i want to do is run back into my saftey net (home) and whilst it may help temporarily long term makes it worse. Interal exposure is a good coping technique that might help. It desensitizes you to the symptoms of panic. Take dizziness for a calm state you spin in a circle a few times. Then allow yourself to come back down. The goal being that whilst uncomfortable im still safe and can't harm me. You re-create the panic symptoms indvidully in a controlled setting in short. Most of the time it requires a therapist, but worth looking into. I think that way when his anxiety is bad he is more confident he can still go out and not escalate the anxiety via panic cause the fear of fear will be a bit less. It shifting some of the power away from anxiety.


@SeeingBeyondDarkness awesome! Thanks for the advice


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