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I don’t have friends, I don’t have someone who I can cal

I don’t have friends, I don’t have someone who I can call anytime to tell them what’s happening or someone who would call to tell me about their day.. my phone log consists of calls between me and people I have business with or family member,.. calls that require me to do something for someone or asking someone to do something for me. I don’t have friends. It makes me sad, ashamed and depressed.
I’ve been doing this thing where I tend to email strangers hoping one will click, but no grown person wants to talk to a stranger. I’m anonymous and they are not, I got their email address from social media, so I get why they won’t feel safe. BUT I DONT HAVE FRIENDS, WTF?
I am a good friend, I like to listen and I love to talk,.. but I tend to be negative, dwell on bad moments, the only thing thin about me is my skin,. I am paranoid and self conscious. I have issues, but who doesn’t. Why can’t I retain friendships? Is it because I’m adopted? Is it that clichéd, ive been to therapy, still in therapy so I did work on my childhood trauma.. is there no way to recover from it? is my foundation just crooked for life?
I’m 33, and i don’t have anyone to call or who would call me, no one who would commit to me. I really don’t want to die alone, and I don’t want to be that person who has to take care of others, while others go on with their lives and I’m here holding the broom

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[85]
Nov 10

I totally get it, I am 19, these are supposed to be the best years of my life and i have no one. If you ever want to talk, I'm a great listener

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EstrangedAndIsolated's picture
[1960]
Nov 10

That comment about your call log hits home for me. The only calls I get are telemarketers or notifications about picking up medication or a Dr's appointment. It's gotten to the point that when my phone rings I get a little weirded out. At my job, one of the few compliments my boss gives out was how I don't play with my cell phone and that others should follow suit. I guess he never guessed that the secret to my success was not having friends or a life. I hear ya and fell ya. If you ever want to talk to someone give me a poke.

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Mwilliams92117's picture
[365]
Nov 11

@publishedwriter Why are you alone? I know that feeling. Not sure what my future is going to bring. I pray it is more fulfilling than it is currently. Are you stuck in PA for a reason. Thank you for your service!!

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