Warning trigger alert.I am not sure where to start.Is anyone

Warning trigger alert.I am not sure where to start.Is anyone else dealing with a wounded inner child.I wake up almost every single morning feeling hate, anger,bitterness,loneliness and resentment.Every single day I dread waking up and carrying around this wounded inner child.I hate her with a p***ion.I hate her for just sitting there and doing nothing to help herself.I hate her for just sitting there waiting to be rescued.If you don't know what it's like having a wounded inner child let me try and explain.It's like having two personalities.When I was a little kid I was severely neglected and abused.Physically,emotionally and sexually.I had absolutely no one there for me.Every single adult that was suppose to look after me failed me or abused me.I never felt love cared for like I belong any where.To this day I am a drifter searching for a place to belong.As a child one of the ways I coped with my abuse was to live inside my head.It was safe in there.It helped me escape my abuse.It gave me a hiding place.It was also where I hid my emotions and buried the pain.In my head I had people who cared about me and loved me.I also held onto all of my pain because I would get more abuse for expressing myself.I have been taking steps to get out of my head.I am seeing a therapist.I can't seem to make any progress or move forward because i literally feel like my adult self is being held hostage by my wounded inner child and I want to break free.My inner child is selfish and domineering and it is all about her needs and her wants.If she doesn't get what she wants she becomes nasty and ugly.She is also impatient,greedy and envious and likes to criticize others.I am going to cry now because as I am describing my inner child it was like describing my emotionally abusive foster mother.Who dominated me,isolated me,reduced me to nothing and got away with it because she was religious.I hold it together for my kids because I don't want to burden them with the horror show that was my childhood.I am just done and over my childhood trauma but that wounded child in me is like a demon.Her constant need for validation,attention and to be loved takes over my life.It is like a bottomless pit she is never satisfied,she can't face reality and sometimes thinks of self harm for a split second she is never happy,she always focuses on others wrongs but not her own.I just want her to finally get off her *** face reality and go help herself.She is not the only one to be abused like this.Maybe I have a split personality.

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CKBlossom's picture
[496480]
Sep 12

Hun, if you don't feel your therapist is helping, then you need to tell them and seek out another therapist or another type of treatment. You want to get well and progress, that is obvious, but finding your way is becoming a road block for you.

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Cw1's picture
[9015]
Sep 12

I agree with @CKBlossom. Depending on how long you have been with this therapist and their speciality it may be time to find someone else. It is a long process so be ready for that. I totally understand the inner wounded child. I feel selfish and guilty about the need and attention I feel it needs. It is like a bottomless pit of sadness and need. I don't think I have a split personality just a lack of understanding and ability to soothe the child that lives inside. Try to find a therapist that works with your specific needs. It doesn't get better immediately, but it does get easier and you get control of your inner child. Best of luck, we are here to listen. You are not alone.

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