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Up until now my guilt for wanting to leave my husband was gr

Sunshine897's picture
[865]

Up until now my guilt for wanting to leave my husband was greater than my desire to leave. But thank you God, things are changing. I think about how much time has gone by with me just waiting for something to stop his abuse. I see now that nothing will change unless I make a move. I think I will look for an attorney on Monday. I've been confused for so long because the abuse is primarily sexual. I thought that a wife had to put up with anything sexual no matter hurtful or disgusting it was. But I'm starting to see that God doesn't want men to treat their wives this way. This will be very scary for me but I know I have to leave him. I'm a little unsure about how I handle our home. Do I look for another place to live until the divorce proceedings are over? Or do I stay here and hope a judge makes him leave? Any advice is welcome.

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 3
norseduncan's picture
[203820]
Aug 14

I would look and leave

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GirlKitty's picture
[70910]
Aug 14

@Sunshine897 I think you should definitely leave your husband. Sexual abuse is not something you should tolerate. I would recommend getting a lawyer and talk to him or her about whether or not you should leave your home. However, if you feel unsafe, if he is even possibly dangerous, I would definitely leave the house. Do you have any friends or family you can reach out to for help? Do you have your own job? If not, you may want to start there and get even a part time job.
Divorce is scary and it is occasionally painful, too, but you can definitely survive a divorce. I did. If I can survive it, I know you can.
You're showing great strength for getting a divorce. Be proud of yourself for being so strong. I truly wish you the best.

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If you are being abused and you are not safe, get out and go to a safe place. I encourage you to locate the nearest domestic violence shelter and make an appointment to speak with a victim advocate. He or she can walk you through the process of filing for a restraining order, and he/she has access to resources including partnerships with organizations which help abuse victims get free housing. In my town there is an organization called Catholic Charities, which helps victims find housing. When you have court dates such as for an order of protection or a divorce, there are specially trained Court /Victim advocates who go with you and prep you so that you are not alone. The most important thing is to get out of harm's way. If you need things from your home, a police officer can accompany you to the house to assure your safety. Domestic violence shelters also often have support groups. You might consider attending one as it can really be helpful and healing. You are not alone and help is available.

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