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So idk how to deal with my parents.. as a kid I was always t

Matthew23's picture

So idk how to deal with my parents.. as a kid I was always told I treated as if I could never do anything right and that my brother (he's a retired army EOD) was a much better son than me because he was perfect and btw he's 16 years older than me. So I have always been treated by may parents like I'm a complete failure and waste of time and idk how to deal with it. I'm 18 years old and married and I just got back from basic training but I wasn't able to graduate due to 4 stress fractures I got in basic training so they are constantly talking about how I failed at basic training and they keep saying why can't you be more like your brother. It's always been this way.. in high school, in elementary school..etc. so idk it's causing problems with me and my wife because they love her and they spend a lot of time with her but never me... they have never taken interest in me the way they did my brother or wife.. my wife thinks I'm just being dramatic and tells me to get over it and I love tried telling her that it just kinda hurts that they would rather be around her than me... I mean I'm their son....

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Nora_is's picture
Mar 12

@Matthew23 you aren't alone, I'm sure your wife will understand, keep your head up

Blueberries1234's picture
Mar 12

It sounds like they're trangulating and isolating you, have a golden child and you're the scapegoat... sigh. I feel lkke half the people on this support group have parents that are covert (shy) narcissists. Please look into the subject on youtube. You likely have complex PTSD. It's really bad. Especially with all the ways they wjll make you feel like you arent good enough and tell you you havd nothing tk be sad about so that you question your sanity instead of theirs. Your wife sounds like a ****** person if she takes their side instead of yours. That would hurt anyone, to feel like their parent likes their wife more than their son. Im sorry your parents are so cruel towards you.

Mar 13

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, and thanks a lot for sharing about your troubles. It's very hard to feel that you're compared to another sibling or person, and sometimes parents show favoritism without fully realizing it. The time period in your life that you're going through also tends to be one when parent-child conflicts are at their strongest, but don't give up hope that you'll get past this stage. Do your parents know how you honestly feel on this issue? If you haven't had a heart-to-heart conversation in a while, I might suggest doing so, even though they are hard to initiate (you could also consider taking your wife along for support). If it feels more intense than that, could you consider family counseling? Wishing for the best, and know that you are loved!


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