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my ex-boyfriend use to abuse me and treated me like **** whe

[20]

my ex-boyfriend use to abuse me and treated me like **** when he felt like it. it has been two years since i have left the situation but somehow i can't move on. i have tried to be in relationships since then i always end up treating my boyfriend like crap. my last relationship i actually asked my boyfriend to hit me. he was very taken aback by my request and refused to do it and i was actually disappointed that he refused. i think me wanting to be hit comes from the fact that when i was younger everyone around me would physically, emotionally, and sexually abuse me and so now i crave that abuse to feel like a human. i need help

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[13295]
Dec 3

@nay0428 exactly we think it's normal because that's what we are used to. For the first time in my life I am taking the time to heal and concentrate on me. When you are ok with yourself and become more confident and realize you deserve better you will start attracting better people and will reject those that are not good for you.

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Rdan's picture
[10050]
Dec 7

I recommend buying a copy of Out of the Shadows by Pat Carnes Chapter 4 details the effect of things that happen in your childhood on your interpersonal relationships. The book on the whole may be off topic but this chapter has a diamond mine of truth and knowledge. I would take a couple thousand and a dozen therapist visits to get this knowledge.

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emilycross's picture
[1645]
Dec 8

I think you should start loving the woman you are instead of chasing relationships. You need time to heal, darling. Let yourself be your greatest and dearest friend.

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