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Is there hope for me? I was physically and emotionally abus

TW: self-harm, suicidal thoughts, DV, emotional and sexual abuse, drinking, abandonment
Is there hope for me? I was physically and emotionally abused by my past two BF's. Both also tried to coerce me into unwanted sexual situations. I have serious abandonment issues as well. I suffer from painful memories, so painful I've self-harmed and had suicidal thoughts. I've started drinking more to try and take the edge off. I've looked into therapy for PTSD but it seems to focus mostly on fear/anxiety. My memories go way beyond just fear/anxiety--they are full of sorrow/grief, anger, hurt feelings, and make me feel totally invalidated as a person. My family and friends tend to be judgmental and insensitive, I don't feel I can talk to them. I tried meeting with a few different therapists. One told me to ignore my symptoms and they would go away. The other told me other people have it worse than me and "don't let it bother you." This has been going on for 4 years and I'm worrying that I may never feel better.

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[65]
Aug 8

@cbgrace1980 Thank you for your support. My life wasn't always this way, I've been through some very happy and exciting times. It's hard to feel like that will ever happen again. I have one friend who tends to be non-judgmental but she can also be kind of gossipy and that makes me nervous. Thank you for the phone number.

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[705]
Aug 13

Sorry you've been through so much. Since you've had some issues with therapists, maybe there are some local support groups. Below is a link that may offer you some guidance. Hope the best for you.
https://list.ly/list/1ezh-finding-your-voice-and-healing-from-abuse

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[65]
Aug 15

@Charliegirl816 Thank you!

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