I need advice. I am now in a new relationship months after b

I need advice. I am now in a new relationship months after being in an abusive relationship. When I get in discussions/ arguments with my new boyfriend, I still react like I used to in my old relationship. I was never really argumentative or said mean things to people till being in an abusive relationship. After months of emotional abuse, put downs, I started to "fight dirty" back aka say mean and hurt things. I feel like I am now carrying this baggage onto my new relationship and I hate it. I have read a lot on emotional/ physical abuse. I know I still need to go to counseling once I get settled in my life. Anyone have any other advice? Words of wisdom? I am tired of reacting like this...It's almost like a fight or flight reaction. It's hard to stop myself. I don't feel like myself and hate the way I talk to my boyfriend when we get in an argument.

Apr 21

I think the point of counseling is to get right into it while you're still in a rut...if you're settled in life, how can you talk about the big issues you're facing now? If you wait until it blows over you might forget how much of an impact it has. I would call for an appointment or start writing things down you want to talk about in the future. i am just saying that because I told myself I would wait until I felt stable enough to talk with someone but by the time it came around I felt there was no need for it.


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