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I don't remember much about most of my childhood but I do re

SpookyNoodles's picture
[165]

I don't remember much about most of my childhood but I do remember that the abuse started when I was 6 that was after my youngest sister was born is when that woman started acting differently. She would yell at me at the top of her lungs over the smallest things, hit me over the smallest things and tell me things like "I was being bad" or that I am "hard-headed", she was extremely over protective of her and for the longest I hated my little sister so much until her passing from a fire accident but my burning hatred for this woman I used to call my mother is still there.

I remember how she used to slap my face so hard that I would get nosebleeds, I never forget that. She made me felt dirty, stupid, and incompetent when I was as young as 8 years old she would accuse me of being "fast" which is a slang term for my race for being promiscuous which is why I think I have a huge disgust and aversion towards sex.

This isn't meant to offend anyone but most of the time I cannot trust women especially if they are mothers, I feel disgusted when they touch me even if it's just a hug or a pat on the back part of me wants to break their fingers off and yell at the top of my lungs that I know they hate their daughters, that they are abusing their kids behind the scenes, and their nice behavior is just a facade.

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[595]
Jan 13

one of my mothers favorite mantras was that men are stupid. She has been dead for over ten years and her abuse still haunts me. I am grateful that you have a support network. Keep working at it and life will improve.

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@SpookyNoodles serious question..do you know what's wrong with her? Was she ever diagnosed with anything? It's like you lost so many years of being a child if not all of your childhood because of her.

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[20]
Jan 14

Hey i understand. I have faced sexual abuse when i was in 5 std, by a cousin who was in 6 std then he is 1 and half year elder than me. When i told this to my parents in std 10, they started physically and mentally harassing me and the cousin's parents also harass me mentally nd physically. I was thrown into medication for mental illness. When i completed my 12 std, my maternal uncle's son sexually abused me since his 4to 7 std whenever i visited his home. If i would say anything to him, his family and my parents would blame me that i am insane and all and don't do anything except insulting me. I was too afraid because of this and could not do much about it. What should I do about it? About these cousins and my parents

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