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Hi there, this is my first post on the group so i dont know

Hi there, this is my first post on the group so i dont know where to start. I made a mistake by going back with my ex boyfriend, he is emotionally/mentally abusive, and not to forget mentioning manipulative as can be.. his anger management skills makes me really scared that he will hit me when he goes into one of his rage moments he damaged the wall earlier by hitting it.. for some strange reason thought I could trust him to change but he never did. I got yelled at at the top of his lungs(voice cracks included)earlier for grabbing the wrong cooking sauce from the store. Needless to say I was on the ground in tears due to being so scared. Awhile back I got better with not self harming, but after that rage fit he had today I cut myself again and I'm highly disappointed in myself that I resorted to that. His lack of anger management skills had led to him going nose to nose with me the last time I dated him telling me he was gonna jab a knife in my throat if I didn't "shut the f*ck up"
Nothing I ever do is good enough there is always something wrong with it. On top of that he seems to like to control my funds again. The last time I dated him and now I was manipulated into giving him my mobile banking password after he spent all of his money on drugs(which I also found out about quite recently after getting back with him). I do worry he will go full tilt some day soon and do something to hurt me. His anger is like a ticking bomb ready to explode once he begins to gas light me.. I guess this brings me to the fact I'm 22 and my family is in a different province. Clearly I dont know how to pick guys to date be because even the last one I dated before this one was a psychopath who liked to cheat/lie for the whole time we were together back then... even worse off is the one I'm currently dating (the one mentioned in the beginning of this) stole $40 $80 and $60 from me to buy his drugs. He took my money while I was sleeping and then lied about ever going out that evening.. and even to this day with the bank saying it was him and the fact where he stopped to get the cash were across the way from where he gets his drugs(I did a little asking around to see who he goes to). I guess what I'm trying to say is I feel alone in this and I NEED ADVICE ASAP :(

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[24980]
Jan 11

If you have any family it woukd be best for you to make arrangements to get out of there soon as you can because it's too dangerous for you to stay there. You can call 211 it's a service that helps you find resources in your area you could also call a women's crises number for guidance and someone to talk to that understands.

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[50]
Jan 11

I work as a Crisis intervention advocate in a battered womens shelter i am here to tell you if you do nothing else tonight You run , leave and leave now get to a police station and let them call victim advocates out . You are not safe

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[3415]
Jan 14

I applaud you!! for reaching out. Have you considered calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline? They can answer any questions you may have about the unhealthy aspects of your relationship and they may know of resources available to you in your area. Stay safe!

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