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So I was finally diagnose with PTSD with anxiety and depress

Royaltyb15's picture
[8145]

So I was finally diagnose with PTSD with anxiety and depression right now . I feel like I don't know who I am right now . I don't know what real anymore how to feel what to think . I'm scared . All I ask myself is why me . I can't sit in a room with a counselor and tell her I was force to have sex since I was 6 to 21 but I need to start . It time to face my past . Step by step memory by memory detail by detail . Idk how she will react because it is horrible . I have to start when it first started the bathtub when I was 6 year old when my uncle walk in started take off his clothes got in and force me to have sex I was scream for my life but nobody was there . So how can u share something like that or torn the end before I left home I stop fighting why because it didn't matter what I did it wasn't going to change I STOP saying no because it didn't matter my brother wouldn't stop or stop hitting me I give up on myself I stop fighting so yes I blame myself because I give up on myself would it have change anything I would never know because I didn't have any fight left . It seem like what ever I did nothing would have change but I chose to stand up for myself and I told and I got help to get out and now I'm facing the aftermath of being abuse nobody tell u how hard it is because u feel so alone and scared like u r damage disappear but u have to keep fighting because it will get better . So I hope it will start getting better for me when I start opening up to my counselor but u have to know that ur life matter to someone believe in yourself . Yes I still have very bad day and good because I'm still in the beginning of the aftermath . I am very proud of myself . I always say I made it through the abuse that I can go make it through this

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Royaltyb15's picture
[8145]
Jul 12

@Scat I know I can I just got to keep fighting when I have my bad days .

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Royaltyb15's picture
[8145]
Jul 12

@monikar thank u .

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[5880]
Jul 13

You are so brave and courageous you don't even know. I think you should talk to your therapist about your history of sexual abuse, that is their Job and what they get paid for. My thoughts and prayers are with you, you are so strong even if it doesn't feel like it. Hugs

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