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Tonight we went to my friends house who also has kids and ha

Tonight we went to my friends house who also has kids and had baby girls first sleepover. I wanted to talk to him before hand like a wife should. I went downstairs to talk to him about it and what do you know. He left for the night without telling me again. I tried to call my husband and he forward my call. So I made the decision to just go. We went to mc Donald's to get the kids dinner on the way and seen that he  was really at the bar. Why can't he just help, call or run home when I need him. Tonight I feel was a big deal. First night with her friends. Later that night I called to talk and see if he even cared and boy was he mad. For what I don't know. What stuck with me was" I don't give a **** about you and I don't want to talk to you." wtf did I do wrong again? I feel our relationship is a guessing game these days because I have to figure out what I did wrong. I need to do something and I don't know where to start...... I love it when's he is sober and my husband again. 

The other day I couldn't control my emotions and wanted to give up. When he was out I texted him " please tell me you are f......someone because when I leave again I don't want to come back. Please be f....... Someone else." The last 3 months I've tried to leave him and always came back because I could hear the old hubby coming back. But then come back to have his abused a.. continue again. Him cheating would help me not come back. I think. I need to figure this out. Hating my life right about now.. 

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[230]
Sep 13

Thank you. I feel like I need to occupy myself with positive everything and try to figure me out in this relationship. I want me back so bad...... I’ve lost myself in our relationship because I love him so much. I hate how much I love him...

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[50]
Sep 13

Hello darling. I understand your pain fully. Be strong and know there is nothing wrong with you or anything you are doing. Sometimes despite how much we love someone we have to acknowledge that love should be mutual and most of all it should feel good. Feeling down, being desperate to be heard by your partner and getting nowhere is not how love should feel like. I should know, I have been dealing with a similar scenario.

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[89650]
Sep 13

I understand. I lived with a drunk too. Now I'm going to tell you what your church or whatever support may never tell you. You're not obligated to stay with this terrible man. EVEN THE BIBLE tells us not to even sit down to eat with a drunk. I wish I'd seen that Bible verse when I thought I had to wait til my husband cheated before I had true grounds for separation or divorce. His alcoholism is like abandonment. He abandoned you. So if he won't listen to you, your family, or anyone from your church, neighborhood, or anywhere, it's time for you to make a life for yourself and your kids. Oh and by the way, he WILL have to pay for child support. No court is going to give a bar hopper custody.

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