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It hurts knowing your parents and family never wanted you to

PcNBalance's picture
[21225]

It hurts knowing your parents and family never wanted you to be born, or to be a part of their lives. It seems to hurt more as time goes by, the older you get. **sigh** how do you heal from that?

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PcNBalance's picture
[21225]
Jun 18

@Blueberries1234 That's possible, but not very. Her mom wasn't the most sensitive woman in the world, but her dad was and she's always called herself a daddy's girl, that her dad was her best friend. That does make sense though now that you explain it that way. I watched my brother turn into that growing up. It was scary to watch him turn into this twisted, distorted mind that was not in touch with reality. It was like he had this extreme overcompensation for all of his insecurities. I wonder if the only reason I didn't turn into that was because I stopped going to school in 5th grade. I was able to spend years coping with all of the abuse and traumas, learning healthier behaviors, what's normal, what is not ok behavior. Around 14 I started doing alot of work on myself. Reading alot of self help books for losing weight, for healing from toxic parents, started meditating alot. I guess since no one loved me or cared about me, I chose to love and care about myself. I later made friends that did take on some of the family roles I didn't have. That was healing. They were pretty awesome people. You're very right, now is the best moment. Ultimately it's all we have, why not make the best out of it and use it to be free from the past. I'm glad we all have a safe place to share and connect. :)

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Blueberries1234's picture
[21690]
Jun 18

@Verelinn you are so right... there is definitely a point where you chose to embrace self reflection and healing and I guess narcissists choose not to do that. I dont know why they do that. Repress their feelings... rather than explore them. Is it because we had no choice? There was no one coming to save us so we had to save ourselves .

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[106210]
Jun 18

@Verelinn I definitely agree that it is a very individual process. You need to proceed at your own time and pace, and see what works for you. The main point I was trying to make is that the abuse, negativity, and projection was all about the abuser, not the child/victim. It’s difficult to internalize this, as there is a wounded inner child that needs love and nurturing to heal. At your own time and pace, and with support, you can make progress......

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