This week's Topic: Giving yourself permission to be imperfect!!!

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Therapy yesterday was different. As soon as I mentioned to h

PeppermintSunrise's picture

Therapy yesterday was different. As soon as I mentioned to her that a couple friends of mine thought it was human trafficking she instantly became very worried. I forgot she specializes in sex trafficking for adults and she just happened to be my therapist now. Still cant believe this whole debacle with this person wanting to take me to Canada really happened. My therapist thanked me and was happy I told her but I cant help but to feel like the blame and to feel stupid. She doesn't want me blaming myself but I cant seem to help it. She seemed very concerned and listed the many red flags she saw about the guy. Telling me to put myself on a p0rnsite to sell fetish pictures and videos and sending me fetish stuff which I suppose is coercion. Then suggesting that he be my therapist after all that really alarmed my therapist. She saw that he was trying to remove me from the biggest support system I have whole leaving for another country. Telling me I basically cant make it here, i cant move forward in my healing while I'm still in my area. He made it seem like he was for sure I needed to be where he was. Everything sounded good although I let him cross me too many times. Like an idiot. I cant even stand to go back on the app we met because we have mutuals there and everyone sees him as some gentlemen, he labels HIMSELF the apps councilor. People see him as so wise and so on. Why would they believe me? Thankfully I told one mutual friend and they have always had a good head on their shoulders. I think its added on to my grieving process because I've been feeling super depressed all **** day, wanting to cry and scream. After talking to my therapist we both realized that I have a history in almost being trafficked/falling for empty promises and dreams of a better life while being exploited, mocked and taken advantage of at 18, being cat called by grown men at 12 and offers to be taken on a car ride by a stranger at 10 or 11. On top of seeing my narc mom prostitute herself, I've just always thought that life and this life of what i dodged with the Canadian guy was how you get by, how you hustle and how your survive. All I've been trying to do is survive and get out and it shows up as me falling for the schemes of a man who made it seem like I was something special. What do I even deserve after something to stupid? Convinced that every guy I talk to thinks im a joke. My therapist and I made an agreement to not talk about my personal life on social media for a month. Only post surface stuff and small things like movies and art. This place will probably be the only place I speak up.

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Jul 31

I hate to say—- “stranger danger”. My 17 year old met someone online. It’s a mess cause I won’t allow meeting...
Hopefully Peppermint you got a good lesson from this. You can talk here and with your therapist. Don’t give personal info to strangers online. I tell my daughters—-people can say anything...internet gives a lot of room for exaggeration and outright lies! You can find bad or negative people everywhere but if you meet people a more traditional way—-school, church, thru friends, etc you are more likely to get a good one! My daughter put a good bit of “stuff” out there which gave this guy a road map of what to say and do.

No sense wasting time beating yourself up about this. Use it to make some good rules. Like. No meeting online people in person. No giving out personal info or phone number or address to strangers etc

Takes time to get to know people. U got to know him and glad u are getting away

Have u read anything snout healthy relationships and domestic violence abusive relationships...isolation and control are right at top of red flag warning list

You dodged a bullet, girl. You can block him. No contact. You don’t owe him anything Protect yourself

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