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I am so mentally exhausted. The meanness is NEVER ending.

I am so mentally exhausted. The meanness is NEVER ending. I can do literally nothing right. He constantly and relentlessly picks on every little thing. It just keeps getting worse every day. Part of it getting worse I think is that I am so tired of his BS that I no longer fall apart and beg and plead and cry for him to forgive me, or love me. I am over that. It hurts still, but I just shrug it off and walk away. I think it is infuriating him that I am not letting him have control over my emotions. I have recently retained a lawyer and am so close to filing for divorce, but I have so much anxiety over the unknown that I keep pushing it forward. I know I need to leave him. Our kids want me to divorce him. I am for the most part in every other aspect of my life levelheaded and practical. Why is it so hard to leave him?

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[375]
Sep 9

@killian0509 I know exactly what you're going through. The cops coming to our house was a regular thing. I tried to leave him several times and this past June I finally left for good. It is so hard to explain why it is so hard to leave a bad relationship but it just is. Now after accomplishing the goal of leaving, I am sad and homesick. I miss my neighborhood (even though I only moved 15 minutes away), my house and my life minus him. Leaving is one of the hardest things I've done. But, when the time came I knew it was time. It was a moment of clarity and I made my mind up and I left. That moment may come for you too, but until it does, be kind to yourself and know that you are in a situation that so many others are also in. It isn't easy to stay and it's almost impossible to leave. But, you'll know when the time is right.

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[1255]
Sep 10

@GirlKitty I go through this kind of thing everyday. It's been so long I think I have lost all of myself. How did you finally make the decision to leave. I feel like someone needs to hit me over the head with the answer. I am not a weak person but just haven't been able to muster up the courage to leave. I am terrified of the unknown. I am terrified that he won't ever leave me alone. I am a shell of the person I know I can be. Darnit, I just can't get myself to make the move.

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[70]
Sep 26

Not nice. You've obviously have never been in a narcissist relationship. It's called trauma bonding. It causes the victim to mesh with the narcissist after prolong abuse. It can make it impossible for the abused person to "suck it up". And by the way, the last thing this survivor thinks of herself is pathetic.

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