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Hi everyone. Me again.... here to vent about my psychotic na

Whoami93's picture
[920]

Hi everyone. Me again.... here to vent about my psychotic narcissistic husband & what he just put me & the kids through today. I’m on government assistance. It’s my only source of income, until I get a job. I have been applying everywhere heavily but haven’t had much luck. So today is the day I get my food stamps money, after living off of people & depending on people it was exciting just to get some groceries for myself, the kids, & my sister since she’s been a tremendous help & allowing us to live with her till I get on my feet. I woke up feeling great. My dad gave me some extra cash, so after grocery shopping I was going to take the kids to a second hand store to pick out some cheap, good clothes (since my husband didn’t give us much of their clothes) here we are, driving in my dads 1989 Buick, the weather is hot as we live in Arizona, but it’s not unbearable since we started our day early. The kids and I were in a great mood, blasting country music, singing tunes, imagine that moment please just for a second. Imagine being in a abusive relationship for 7 years, finally escaping, & trying to be a positive light in your childrens life, trying to stay strong & not let mama break down in front of them. Imagine the strength I had at that moment while singing at the top of my lungs with my 3 kids. Then BOOM, the whole entire day went to complete ****. Because my husband stole my food stamps card, the ONLY source of income I had. I’m standing in the check out lane rummaging through my purse, I always keep my fs card secured in my wallet. I ALWAYS have it. But this time it wasn’t there. I was so shocked, confused, embarrassed as there is a line building behind me. I feel heat rise into my cheeks, I can’t breathe, I can’t think. I start crying telling the clerk that I left my card at home. The kids & I walk out of the store empty handed. Once again we are empty handed. Every **** day we are empty handed. I call my husband crying asking if he knows where my card is, he said no but in his voice I can hear the lies. He was utterly calm, I can hear the smirk. I hang up, drive home, crying the whole way because my baby boy needed some milk, & I couldn’t even get him that. 20 minutes later my husband calls saying he all of a sudden remembers the day I left he found it on the floor. I remember that day clear as the blue sky. I remember going back into the house to get some of my things as the cops were out front, I remember finding my purse on the ground & all my stuff that belong in my purse on the ground. & it hit me. This guy is a monster & will do anything absolutely anything in his power to control me, to make me weak, to make me run back to him, he will do anything to make my life harder than he has already made it. & even after escaping him, he still found a way to control me. Man oh man did I break down & cried & cried & cried. He is a monster. & here I am depending on him to give me my card back so I can get some groceries. I’m playing nice & acting like I know it was an accident that he has my card, even though I know for a fact he did this on purpose. & once I get my card back, I will go back to being me. The stronger me. The me who will not talk crap from this man. Ugh. Today is hard guys. But I’m okay, I’m okay.

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[34500]
Jun 12

He is a piece of work. My prayers are with you.

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[1850]
Jun 14

You go strong momma!!

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[3225]
Jun 14

I am so sorry you had to go through that. Also look into 211.org they can help with groceries, etc. you are very strong and a wonderful mother. Hang in there everything‘ is going to be OK

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