So tomorrow morning I have to be in court. Ending my marriag

brokenwings89's picture

So tomorrow morning I have to be in court. Ending my marriage of 17 years. I have been doubting myself a lot lately, but this afternoon as i told my life story to a friend, I realised that I have actually been through a lot. Emotional and psychological abuse over a period of 16 years. I am thinking that I should write down my life story. Even if just to remind myself that I am a survivor, and how much I have grown.

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strongtough's picture
17 hours ago

@brokenwings89 I feel so bad for you, its so hard, I know it doesnt make sense and it really shows your a great person, its kind of funny, I think there are people in this world - and three things happen, you have 1 group of people (I think most of us on this site, consoling eachother, helping eachother, making eachother feel good - and we dont even know eachother!!) as "loving people" , then you have the spouses, that are people that dont care, hurt you, wont listen to you, cheat on you, or its ok to have different views and opinions, or disagree but you cant talk to eachother. those are "not loving people" so then 3 things can happen, it can be a marriage of two loving people (somebody that believes like we do, to be caring, andwant to work it out, and in respect eachtoehrs feels) and there are many married people like this and they are very fortunate, i dont wish them anything but the best, there is the second thing that can happen, marriage between loving and non loving person (all of us on this site with different issues, and the third is non loving with non loving, and they dont care, they hurt eachother, it doesnt matter, so this didnt work out, they will do it to the next person so on and so on, its touch, like why couldnt we have married a spouse loving like us? or dedicated like us? i am not saying to agree with everything we say or anything, but respectful? is that too much to ask for? I went into marriage loyally, as this is a life long commitment, and I meant that, she said that, but the actions speak far different.

wish you the best.

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14 hours ago

Sometimes in life, we endure the things that
hurt us really bad. We end up finding ways of adapting to the environment. It’s unfortunate that in the long run nothing changes, despite our sacrifices and persistence. The most common thing that keeps people in an abusive marriage is the thought that things will be fine or he/she will change with time. Only to realize we wasted a lot of time dreaming. Back to your post, this must be a hard moment for you. I am sure a lot i going through your mind. Mixed feelings and some regret. Focus on what's best. You've realized it's an abusive union
and you have bared so much from it. It is time you take charge of your life. Am never advocate for divorce, but unhappiness in a union that should satisfy you is unacceptable. Am sure you will be fine with time. The pain, regret and any form of negative emotion will pass. Just try focus on things that will build your life. Things that will make you happy. I am also glad you are able to freely share your thoughts and what you are going through. Your ability to end up a victor after all this will be an encouragement to someone else who is silently facing the same. On the other hand, your situation might be a healing process to other individuals and legislation of your country. Stay happy.

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brokenwings89's picture
4 hours ago

Thank you all for the support and encouragement. I am going to try focusing on my kids, hobbies and studies. Maybe time will heal the empty spaces


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