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Hello again! So my ex moved out a week ago.. When I joined

Lena1985's picture
[1530]

Hello again!
So my ex moved out a week ago.. When I joined this site, we were separated but still living on the same house, and I was going through the worst time of my life.
Since he moved out, I felt relief! I thought I would cry and be sad, but havent cried a tear! I find my new freedom so liberating, I am able to go out with my kids without being screamed at when gettinf home.... No shaming me, no blaming me... I actually feel good... My kids are coping very well now, thanks to a lot of talk they now understand it is not their fault... We are moving on!
His new supply must be keeping him entertained, which is good for me. Yesterday he came by to pick up the kids to spend the afternoon, and just by looking at him I felt disgussed and wondered why the hell did I stay with him for so long... I dont hate him, I dont love him, I dont need him anymore... I think I am healing... I cant say for sure I will never be sad again, but for now, I actually feel good..
Thank you sooooooo much for all your support... Speaking about all I went through here, and receive tje feedback really helped me heal.... I am so glad to have find you....
God bless you all, and keep pushing forward!

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Irish925's picture
[11905]
Aug 10

Same, I cannot wait to feel what you are feeling! Congratz!!! My dday is 9/5 and I'm a little anxious to say the least, thoughts of is this the right thing to do? Am I missing anything? The mornings are getting better but, its a process...day by day...Keep us posted, you are an encouragement for a lot of us still stuck in the $hit...

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[14710]
Aug 10

@Lena1985 Isn't it a fabulous feeling, like a weight off your shoulders, and the freedom to breathe! I have been free 10 months, and No contact for the last 5. very liberating!

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Lena1985's picture
[1530]
Aug 10

@Irish925 hello! Like eddie, I have been reading yours posts aswell.. I think you are on a good path.. I felt your anger on that post that you said she wants to be friends with you. I feel the same anget when my ex says he wants to be friends. I told him once that wouldnt happen. I still speak with him, but only about the kids (when he comes to get them) other wise, I dont even text back. I told him: "you broke my spirit, and then you broke my heart. Now it is my time to be selfish. Now I am mine. " He says that hurts him, but I dont care! He just wants me to keep me on hold, if his new woman doesnt work, he wants me as backup. But that aint happenning. I am finally able to say I am over him... I actually feel disgusted when I see him, all atraction and affection went away... I am actually surprised at myself... Bit after 4 months of hell on earth, I am feeling good about being alone.. I was so scared.. Even laying in bed now, I really dont miss him.. I can watch whatever I want, I can listen to music (because he hated my music), I really feel free!
Hope you get to feel that way too! Sending strength and hugs

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