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There are times when my husband will be so good to me... we'

cjb25's picture
[1855]

There are times when my husband will be so good to me... we'll be laughing and cutting up like friends and just having fun together and I'll think, this is the man I fell in love with, maybe we can make it work. Then 5 minutes later something infantesimally small will come up and he'll start yelling at me and calling me a "worthless piece of trash" and I remember, nope he'll never change.

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Spring68's picture
[690]
Jul 9

I remember those types of responses at times. We went to therapy several times, and dammit....none of them ever pulled me aside and told me what was really going on! He would go through the motions so that he could check that box and then use anything that I said against me later on.

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acadia0012's picture
[1425]
Jul 11

Me too. Rinse and repeat day after day. =( I'm sorry for your situation and just remember you are empowered with the knowledge that he's the one with a problem. Not you. stay strong.

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I am so sorry you are going through this situation. It is so tough, especially when there are some good times, and we naturally want to cling onto those, especially when we have invested years in our spouse. Sweetheart, you cannot change him. The only one you can change is you and what you will and will not accept. If you want to work on your marriage, and he is not willing to go to counseling, then would you consider going to counseling on your own? I think it could give you perspective, as well as strength and someone to talk to given the situations you are facing. Sweetheart, when he's calling you names, that is abuse, and it is classic for the abuser to blame the victim. You can't make him do anything. If he says you make him so mad, no, that is his choice to be mad. I encourage you to get some counseling on your own if he is not willing to go. If money is tight, most churches offer free pastoral counseling. Hugs to you, precious friend. I am sorry you are going through this. Know that you are not alone.

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