Second blog of 2019 IS OUT!!!!! "Facing reality after the holiday season"
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*trigger warning* I havent been on in a while. Hope you al

*trigger warning*
I havent been on in a while. Hope you all had great holidays. I'm just so at a complete stop right now. I dont know what else to do. I haven't cut since September 26 everyday brings me closer to cutting. My sister is a literal narcissist. Everything is about her, turned on her, involves her. That results in emotional and mental and financial abuse. Everyday is a new fight about something dumb then escalated into "you dont have a job, dont have school u just sit around all day its sickening"(i have severe health issues I cant physically work right now. She knows that and uses it against me) I just dont know what to do anymore. I really don't. I'm so close to killing myself, closer than I've ever been. No one loves me. No one. I'm not just saying that. I have no one to talk to. No one who supports me and all of ME. IM SO LOST. I'm so lonely. I dont know how to deal with this on my own anymore. I just want that one friend family anyone to love me. But no one does. My whole family uses me. I have to cook. I have to clean. everyday is hell. I truly think that i am a good person. I am kind and do whatever I can for people. I just wish god would stop punishing me. I just need one person to pull me back from the ledge. One person to say "i love u and am here for u no matter what no judgment. I love you" even my family who don't give two [email protected]#$ about me. but still I sit here alone sobbing. Praying for the courage to end all this.

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Blueberries1234's picture
[40515]
Jan 2

you didnt ask to be born and you dont owe your family anything. It is a parents responsibility to make a child feel loved and take care of them. You did nothing wrong. You need to get out of this situation and then things will seriously improve I promise. You cook and clean, well why not do that for other people who will pay yoù and you can be out on your own? Or work doing a job that you can manage, even part time and find an apartment where you can rent a room. Or go into social housing and live on your own. You shouldnt be with these people experiencing emotional abuse. Please kook up a hotline to speak with someone for crisis counseling. You deserve to be happy.

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[875]
Jan 10

No therapist or mental health support I am looking into that. Its just hard for me to talk about stuff face to face with someone. Thanks for all the support

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Error101's picture
[109395]
Jan 10

@Girl99 Yeah, for me in the beginning i would have became the inner personality that was uncontrolled. This is what I say, "You know yourself best, and you should always try to manage your own affairs before giving up." If you have the willingness, then go for it.

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