Hi im new here and ım desperate for advice. Im discreetly p

Hi im new here and ım desperate for advice. Im discreetly planning my escape from my narc husband . I bought my ticket to go back to the country ı used to live in before my marriage of 6 years. How do ı go about breaking the news when ı arrive? Do ı call, message or go completely no contact? I have a 5 year old daughter and not sure if no contact is ideal...please help

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Mosaic's picture
[4295]
10 hours ago

Hi, @ Cloudsabove, Its been a few days. I was thinking I don't really have that much to add to your replies here, then I thought about how I made a big, sneaky, Vamoose from a guy who I don't really know if I'd classify him as a narcissist, but he was a little violent with me and unreliable and embarrassing so much so that it hampered my ability to pursue my career and cultivate my/our social life. It was challenging financially but I did not have a child and I was in my late thirties, so I did it: left him and he found out I'd been gone for hours when he came home from work. And here's my message:
After a little while, six or seven days or maybe less, I'd 'had it' with the place i landed, I called him up and it was SO NICE to talk to him and his keen interest in me such an emotional fill-up. It took me several weeks, couple of months maybe, and I was driving right back across country to get back with him. My true north. My 'really I have no where to go that feels like home, things are not working out; I can not take care of myself financially.'
It was easier to go back to 'our team' and face life than deal with all of that questioning (of myself and by others); that no job, none of your stuff, limbo mind. My advice is to prepare for those weak moments by having a plan and sticking to it.

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SpinningFlower's picture
[190]
8 hours ago

@Cloudsabove Yep she is not only selfish, but manipulating. I found out in my life, 'you don't have to get even with a bad person, they will always screw themselves in the end, they like fire" I found this in my life over and over again when bad people came into my life. You see they live off of other's misery and they attract to it. Obviously the reason she stayed with her husband was because she liked it-not to say we are like them and why we got together with manipulative or abusive men-I always look at it he got me at a weak moment, I was bullied as a child and I was use to it. But something in the way his mother talks makes me think she liked the drama. She may be at the point now she's fed up and why she doesn't want to deal with her son. But it could make her happy to see someone else taking it. Or maybe she is just **** jealous because she knows you CAN get out. She can't, he's her son, she's stuck with him for good. The second fact is, she shouldn't even be putting her nose in your life with him, really none of her business. God it makes me want to tell her myself, 'your son is a abusive and what have you done about it all these years..But you know what? Don't bother, you will drain all your energies trying to make these people see right from wrong and they JUST WONT LISTEN..that is why you got to make a peaceful life for yourself. Fact is, you can.

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[230]
6 hours ago

@Mosaic I made a promise to myself that ı stick to my decision no matter what happens. I even told my friends back in London that ım scared that his hoovering will weaken my determination of not going back. Thanks to my friends, they are very supportive. I was born in the Uk. I lived there for 27 years with my family. O had my own home, job everything. I gave up everything, my family, friends, my home, my belongings within minutes for a man ı thought ı was in love with. Was it worth it? No. I am so embarrased. I have been so stupid.

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