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Hello ... this very awkward for me but I feel a bit strang

Hello ...
this very awkward for me but I feel a bit strange and shocked at myself.
I work in an airport and there was this drunk violet.passenger, he didn't have anything with me. Someone else was already dealing with him but when he was escorted out of the building I was close to the elevator that takes you to ground floor and when I saw him coming towards the elevator where I was as well I just ran away! I was scared, my knees and hands were shaking, my stomach felt like it was an empty heavy rock. Today at a phone store 2 costumers were fighting with one of the guys working at the till. I was right next to them and they were shouting and saying bad words. I felt like running but I had to buy something from the store, I turned pale, I felt like crying and shaking my legs and hands so I could calm down. Felt like I can't breathe and felt like crying. Now ... my father was a good part of his life a drunk but he stopped when I got older, I love him to bits, he's not around anymore... mum yelled all her life , I think I was fine with all of this but I do now understand why am I reacting like a scared dog, might be linked with my childhood? If so ... why are this things happening now ? After almost 15 years... I don't remember so much of the childhood abuse, just small parts that are not upsetting me at all ... at the same time my anger it's surprising as well, I never express my anger, I keep it very well under control but dear God ... I am amazed at what I feel when angry and how transformed I am.
I am 27, female, work in costumer service.
I just don't understand my reactions and my need to run away as soon as I am triggered... is there someone that is experiencing same things as me ?

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CKBlossom's picture
Jul 21

Have you ever considered therapy to deal with the repressed feelings, effect of the abuse?


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