JesusSaves♥

A few months ago I attended a one day Christian camp called Rehab, it was one of the best experiences of my life. I have attended church all my life but I was just going with the flow. At that camp I began to realize I had been acting so wrong all my life. But the change I thought I felt only stayed for about a week, I thought I could live both of the lives I had. In 8th grade I broke up with my then boyfriend, and this was the start of a lifestyle ive made. I cut myself that day because Id heard of my friends doing it, I felt so alone that I thought maybe someone could see it as my cry for help. I never thought I could become addicted, but since that day I became addicted to cutting and burning myself. I was 13 then and I am 15 now. I needed it everytime i fought with my parents or anytime I felt sad. I started a note book then and filled it with suicide notes and poems, i drew disturbing pictures, and i would write in it with my blood. Even after the Rehab camp i thought I could stop but I didnt. It has been the biggest problem for me but others came, I became the stereotypical "rebel" teenager. Partying, drinking, sneaking out to meet boys, all became part of my lifestyle. I dated a guy who was then a drug dealer which really did not influence me for the better. My parents knew nothing about the other life I lived and that hurt me so much. Life was spiraling downward and I really was living for nothing. Things got worse when I found out I had anorexia. It was at that moment I felt so broken because I was so young but I could already look back on my life in regret. When Rick spoke at soul stock he was talking about the cultural Christian, who says they believe in God but the rest of they week they dont live it. And I knew that was what i was doing, I was only praying to God when I needed it, and I relied on cutting and my friends to make me feel better. And that was when I came over to the prayer tent with my best friend and I knew it was time. I knew God had worked in me that day because for the first time I did. not. want. to go back to what I had been. I knew I would be tempted again but I feel so much different. It was like God took away all the wrong longings. Im thanking God right now for the grace he gave to me that even I could have another chance.

Latest Posts by JesusSaves♥

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  have others been there?
  Burn
  I used to burn my self allot. I was a cutter but i would also use burning as a form of self injury. it often hurts worse and leaves larger scars then ...
  Latest Post by samanthabelle on Tue, 04/24/2012 - 12:34. Comments - 4
• 
  Any adivce?
  Parents
  My parents give me such a hard time. I know every teenager goes through that, but somtimes I dont know how to handle it. they take my phone for two we...
  Latest Post by JesusSaves♥ on Tue, 10/25/2011 - 16:03. Comments - 6
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  What can I do?
  Anxiety
  So Ive been feeling extremely stressed the past few months or so, theres been allot more on my schedule than usual. At first I love the feeling of bei...
  Latest Post by JesusSaves♥ on Tue, 10/25/2011 - 15:53. Comments - 3
• 
  I never thought I could stop
  Self Injury
  I never thought I would stop cutting myself. I was so addicted. I needed it to get through any hard time. But when you break the habit you feel so fre...
  Latest Post by JesusSaves♥ on Tue, 06/21/2011 - 06:49. Comments - 4

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