christa33

I have struggled with eating disorders since i was twenty years old. It all started when my friends and boyfriends called me a "big, fat girl" when in actuality I was a normal weight. I started dieting which spiralled out of control into starvation and overexcercise. I was heavily into anorexia in my early twenties,also with periods of healthy eating. I started to get into modeling, which also fueled the fire for my starvation. In the twisted world of modeling, the pressure to be thin is unreal and downright dangerous. Unfortunately, I continued on my hideous path of ED more intensley when I was 26 years old which ended up in a near death experience when I turned 27 years old. One day, I realized I couldnt walk and freaked out. My skin was full of rashes, I had no ability to move my muscles and my body was in severe pain. I had always thought I was invincible to the ED and it would never harm me. i was very wrong. I ended up being hospitalized for a year learning how to walk again and use my limbs although i never fully recovered use of my arms. My stomach and digestive track was severly damaged and my heart was in pain and I suffered erradic heartbeats. Never in my life had I been so completely terrified. I was in more pain than I could ever imagine to even describe. I definetly thought I would die. Amazingly, I pulled through and did heal, although not completely. i suffer from arthritis and do not have much mobility in my arms to this day. I beleive the starvation caused the arthritis, I believe my bones were feeding off my body because of lack of food. After the year in therapy and getting better, I unfortunately got back into modleing and started the process all over. i do not know why I did that. I am completly through with the modeling now, it is not worth my life. About a year and a half ago I started again with anorexia. This year in particular I let anorexia take me over again. Im addicted to this terrible disease. My wish is to recover once and for all.

Latest Posts by christa33

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  Update on Me
  Self Esteem
  Hello, i do not know why i am doing this at all. i really dont. i think it is for closure of what happened to me on here. plus, i miss my freind...
  Latest Post by christa33 on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 12:01. Comments - 8
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  Im never posting on this site again!
  Self Esteem
  More than likely no one will care cause no one has really been nice to me on this site, well, not true there have been some good people on here, but ...
  Latest Post by I can do this on Thu, 05/03/2012 - 19:10. Comments - 24
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  WHY the lack of support for the CFS , fibro and chronic pain groups?
  Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
  PLEAE HEAR ME OUT: i am witnessing so many people deleting posts from CFS , fibro and chronic pain. Honestly, i do not blame them. I too want to g...
  Latest Post by kyster on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 17:38. Comments - 25
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  A Funny Story To Make You Laugh!
  Eating Disorder
  Hello my sweet freinds, Today I wanted to share with you a quick little funny story that has to do with the irrational perception of ourselves in t...
  Latest Post by flecek on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 06:15. Comments - 13
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  A Different View on Life
  Eating Disorder
  Hello my incredible freinds, I had the most eye opening experience the other day... My fiancee , his daughter and I went to visit his son's grav...
  Latest Post by christa33 on Sun, 01/08/2012 - 13:18. Comments - 61
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  Nothing Can Touch Me ( my mission statement)
  Eating Disorder
  Hello my friends, Today, I am addressing the topic of 'people pleasing". Now, I know that with eating disorders, a lot of us have this insatiable h...
  Latest Post by christa33 on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 18:22. Comments - 36
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  Does anyone else with fibro/CFS have multiple chemical sensitivies/allergies?
  Loneliness
  Is there anyone out there like me who has am immune disorder? I have fibro and CFS and i alsp have an extrememly hyperactive immune system, of which ...
  Latest Post by Hm4Peacocks on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 13:50. Comments - 17
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  Butterfly Dreams
  Eating Disorder
  I have always loved butterflies. Even when i was young i would chase them. Ive always loved the fact that they were free, angelic, beautiful,and fre...
  Latest Post by christa33 on Mon, 12/26/2011 - 13:37. Comments - 14
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  Help Needed
  Loneliness
  i dont know if anyone will see this or care, but my health is super bad. i have fibromylagia/CFS, immune disorder, IBS, kidney stones, high trig...
  Latest Post by usmc_cbtengr on Sun, 12/25/2011 - 16:31. Comments - 79
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  I have the worst life of anyone who lived
  Loneliness
  yes, i have the worst life of anyone who has lived. i wish i was dead. no one has been through more pain and agony than me, never. i had a ho...
  Latest Post by christa33 on Tue, 11/29/2011 - 04:25. Comments - 52
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  I feel so worthless
  Self Esteem
  Hello my amazing freinds, First, Id like to thank you all for being wonderful as i am blessed to have you all in my life. I just feel so awful....
  Latest Post by Frederick on Wed, 10/12/2011 - 07:27. Comments - 33
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  WIshing that others would not judge people...
  Self Esteem
  Hello, I just wish people would stop their dang judging of others! People judge u on how u look, ur dress size, money, clothes, being crippled ,...
  Latest Post by christa33 on Sat, 10/01/2011 - 10:09. Comments - 42
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  The Scariest Trip the the ER
  Exercise Addiction
  oh my friends, i do wish i could give you all some good news on my situation but i keep getting worse. i had to go to the ER 2 days ago yet again...
  Latest Post by christa33 on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 08:00. Comments - 31
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  i want to die
  Suicide
  tonight i want to die.... im in so much pain and have too many health problems to count.... no one cares...docs dont care people dont care....an...
  Latest Post by Beautyfrompain on Sun, 09/25/2011 - 19:48. Comments - 19
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  Why feel bad about being alone?
  Loneliness
  Hello, I have been on SG for about 2 years now( off and on) and while I mainly post on the eating disorder site, but I wanted to visit this secti...
  Latest Post by christa33 on Sun, 09/25/2011 - 14:03. Comments - 18
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