bluberry

Not sure what to say. I have been very lonely since 11/2010. My problems didn't start there, but my profound loneliness did. My mother died a very sudden questionable death on the first of that month. At a time when friends are supposed to rally around you, for the first time ever in my life, I reached out and asked for help, and the "friends" I thought were incredible, wonderful, and loyal, proved to be users, unreliable, and not really friends at all. I gave up on everyone, and I turned inward. So why am I here? I have a wonderful husband who loves me for who I am and treats me like a queen (not my problem obviously), and a wonderful loving 6 year old son. I also have a 21 year old daughter, who struggled all her life with the social disorder of asperger's syndrome. Not only does she bear this challenge, but she is very overweight, she has a personality disorder, she is absolutely miserable, and she has an anger management issue. We have had visits by the police more often than I care to share, threats and attempts of suicide, screaming fits, and we have had to resort to evict her. That is probably more painful for me than it is for her. She also is a hoarder. She really needs to live in a facility, but there simply is not anything out there for her. I do not want her to end up in a shelter, but she is NOT capable of taking care of herself. I am so afraid for her... but it's not healthy for her here either. I have no one to talk to; yes my husband, but I need a friend, too. My son is suffering, and acting out, and I know he needs to be free of this manipulation. I cry all the time. I hardly ever sleep. i could go on and on... and I guess I have already exceeded the me in a minute.... Looking for some support... a friend... maybe not even a "friend". I don't think it is fair to share my burdens with anyone... I can barely handle them; well I can't.... and I beg for help. Everyone I've ever confided in can't handle it either. It's simply too much, and not fair to dump on someone. No one wants to hear the troubles you are enduring. Especially when there is more sadness than happiness. That's my life. And I really would like to be happy, and I simply think it isn't possible. Sorry.

Latest Posts by bluberry

• 
  How could I have raised such a MEAN NASTY child? How do you fix that?
  Asperger Syndrome
  I raised my child to be nice; to say thank you and please; to be considerate to others... to take pride in her appearance. Who is that living in her b...
  Latest Post by Victorious on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 10:00. Comments - 4
• 
  She's awake 2 minutes and has already screamed at me twice
  Asperger Syndrome
  I was going to wake her at 1100. She has chores she needs to do. But I decided to let her sleep for awhile. What's worse? Undone chores, or having her...
  Latest Post by flecek on Sun, 04/08/2012 - 21:24. Comments - 12
• 
  my first post... anyone out there?
  Asperger Syndrome
  Hi, This is my first post, and also my introduction. I'm looking for some support... obviously, or I wouldn't be here. Not sure what to say. I have be...
  Latest Post by bingomonkey on Sun, 02/19/2012 - 18:53. Comments - 9
• 
  thank you for all who responded
  Asperger Syndrome
  Thanks to everyone who responded to my cries for help. I am sure this weekend will be a doozy. I will respond (or at least try to) to everyone who res...
  Latest Post by CK on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 10:08. Comments - 1
• 
  Please tell me I'm not alone...I really need professional help... reaching out... please catch me...
  Loneliness
  I am so sorry if this is just too much to handle. I think that the reality is that it is simply too much for me to handle, and I have no one t...
  Latest Post by bluberry on Sun, 02/05/2012 - 15:23. Comments - 4
• 
  OH please, isn't there anyone out there listening? please... someone listen...
  Asperger Syndrome
  I think I am at the end of my rope. I told my daughter tonight that if she doesn't straighten her act out, I will either shoot myself dead or leave wi...
  Latest Post by bluberry on Sat, 02/04/2012 - 18:50. Comments - 7

Support Points and Badges

Total Points: 300

Badges: