SUPPORT: Why Can't They Just Leave Me Alone?

Hmm...I intended to 'edit' this, b/c I wasn't sure it made sense, and maybe it doesn't. But when I wrote it, I was thinking about the push/pull of an ED, and how we don't want others to control us, yet we also desperately want someone to help. It's such a frustrating situation.
I tried to communicate the confusing messages that we all have heard in our heads, and how, in reality, we are fighting against ourselves.
Do any of us REALLY want to be left alone?

no one really wants to be left alone...
anorexia is a cry for help, saying, look guys, im really really hurting right now, but being too proud to admit sometimes we need looking after too...
xxx

I sure don't want to be alone!!!!!! I keep reminding myself that I am not alone and niether are you!!!!!

I definitely can relate to the feeling alone and yet thinking I'm doing what is right. I especially like the part where you said "they must be jealous!" because some part of my head still really believes that... ("I look SO much healthier than them", wow, I guess I have to remember how sad that is)... I honestly wish my printer was working I would print that out and put it on the wall.

I love you guys! :)

i definitely understand you.
we think that they want to control your life but they don't
they're trying to help you
because afterall.. anorexia will kill us.
i also think that thin will make me happy, i try to be as thin as i can even if others don't think it looks good (that's were my username comes from acutally :D)

the thinner we are the more confident we get, that why being thin makes us happy.

i'm just throwing out the random thoughts that pop in my head as i read your journal,
my point is, they're trying to help you, they don't want to control your life, they want to save it because they care about you.

i find seeing a nutritionist a good option, because you can eat but not freely, only certain amount of carbs, fruits, protein etc so i do feel that i have control
(did i express myself clearly? :/ )