RECOVERY TOOLS: The Therapeutic Art of Journaling

I LOVE journaling. I just started this a few months ago and because it is just me pouring out my private thoughts it is enormously helpful and insightful., I like to go back and read my posts from weeks or months ago to see how far my thinking has progressed (or regressed). Wonderful advice as always Jan
Have a great time in Florida! After this last month in Ohio it should be more than welcome weather!

Thank you Molly! I am attending the Iaedp (International Eating Disorder Association for Professoinals) Conference in Orlando (right inside Disney World!).
I'm excited for the weather, and also for the opportunity to hear many of the experts in the field of EDs speak.
I'm happy that you could relate to this!
Take care..Jan

Jan
i believe all the journaling that i have done on and off this site has helped me purge my emotions and helped me become more aware of things in my past and present.as molly states here that she can look back on how she had progressed or regressedi can see that myself and can slowly start to see that i am becoming stronger ut healing is so very painful!

Jan,

I tried journaling when I was in junior high. Unfortunately, my mom snooped, read everything and used it all against me. I know she believed she was doing the right thing, but I was a really good kid, if quiet... And part of me wants to refrain from blaming her for this invasion of privacy, because afterall, that was how she learned that my sister was suicidal. (Not that they took any helpful action after learning it...) My sister and I both learned to write very cryptic poetry because of this... Our feelings NEEDED to come out, and journaling just wasn't safe... Everything I produced or brought into the house was up for snooping, invasion, critique... The biggest fight my mom and I ever had came after she read a letter I received from a friend in California, a year after we had moved away, following my admission in the previous letter that yes, my dad was an abusive alcoholic. I endured so much pain in keeping that secret while we lived there. And I only admitted it when my sister mentioned it to him and he questioned me. My mom felt betrayed, and in her great denial, as though I was lying! I felt betrayed too... She made me feel small and insignificant, as though my feelings didn't matter, my rights as a human being didn't matter... She used my meager attempts to be emotionally honest with another human being as a weapon. How dare I hurt her! Give her a bad name! Make her look bad!

My mom called again this morning... She's packed and ready to come, though I won't be picking her up until this evening... I asked her if she'd be bringing her computer, among other things. She seemed surprised that I would ask such a question. In the past, I have gone through my files, hiding things, erasing my search history. Part of me is thinking about doing so again. Part of me thinks, if she snoops again, me 34 years old and self-sufficient, then she deserves to be hurt by whatever she finds. She could easily find ED and ACA related stuff all over my computer. Books in my room, hidden as they are from cursory glances... Why do I care?? As my therapist says, it's not as though I'm doing anything wrong! But I didn't do anything wrong with that letter, either... And we all suffered as a result of her snooping.

My mom is talking about wanting to take a vacation this summer with me, my sister, my niece and nephew. I actually think it sounds great!! :) So, why am I so worried about her being HERE? Judgement. Snooping. There's more here for her to find and judge and criticize. And this home? It reflects ME. It is MY safe place. I don't want it to be a place of abuse. I LOVE my mom... I just am starting to see how badly her behavior, and lack of nurturing, as my therapist put it, effected me...

Journaling... :) I guess I'm journaling HERE, huh?? :) Sorry... I went off topic...

Love!! :)

Jen

Jen..great share..and yes, a type of journaling. It can be for only your eyes, or for others' as well. I have found that it's sometimes a relief to know that you are being 'heard'.
The more you share about your growing up years, the more I can see an 'abusive' pattern. Such torment and pain. I am so sorry you had to go through such things. OF COURSE all of this has affected you!!
Remember your Mom is in YOUR home. She should respect that, and if she can't, you have every right to ask her to leave! I hope it doesn't come to that, and that you both can enjoy the time together.
Thank you for sharing...sending you HUGS...Jan

Having your own journal can make you more happy because of the
that you can always express your feelings no matter how great or how bad it was.

In line with this, if you need something especially with regards to
Journaling Tools, we are here to help you.

Great post, I would be lost without my journal. When I write it releases the mess that's in my head. If I don't write my head is full of all these thoughts and feelings, they make my head feel as though it could explode. Writing releases all of this. There is no judgement, I can tell my journal everything. The only downside is there is no feedback unless you show it to someone. Some stuff that I write, I wouldn't want anyone to see but I have shared a couple of my journal posts with my therapist, which helps to discuss things that I find difficult to open up about. I am so thankful for my journal!!