Red flags in a relationship

Sometimes when we're feeling the butterflies in a relationship we tend to overlook the reality of who the person may be; therefore, I found this article to be incredibly insightful;

"Relationships experience similar ups and downs to that which life throws at us; in some cases even more so. These do not necessitate immediate flight, since obstacles and conflict are natural. However, there are some signals of relationship deterioration into an unhealthy relationship. Missing any one of six red flags in your relationship would not be good for you or your relationship in the long run.

1) Abuse

Whether it's verbal, emotional physical or sexual abuse; this is should be an invitation to escape or seek relationship help at least. Verbal and emotional abuse can be dealt with, but it often happens that the same vices that spur it translate to other forms of abuse as well. Abuse does not merely undermine the relationship bond, but seeks to replace it with fear, manipulation and other negative emotions. Although abuse is a very obvious red flag, its warning signs (possessiveness, jealousy and sadism) are also bright-red indicators.

2) Dishonesty

Honesty and truth are somewhat contentious concepts. However, it is accepted that the intention behind the dishonesty is important. Sporadic dishonesty with justification can be tolerated. Regular dishonesty- even on apparently trivial matters- can undermine trust in a relationship. On the bright side, you could write a book on the impact of the habitual liar on a relationship.

3) Lack of privacy or space

This is another indicator that trust- a pillar of relationships- is absent. Having a clingy partner may not necessarily suggest that you're all that. What it likely suggests is that your partner may be developmentally challenged or simply a controlling, manipulative individual. This red flag is actually a green light for counselling or a paved path to "Single Ville".

4) Communication gradually declines

Communication ought to occur beyond the superficial level in a healthy relationship. The concept of intimacy is premised on communication involving sharing of intimate thoughts and emotions. Using Robert Sternberg's classification of love, the absence of meaningful communication leads to either blind love (passion and commitment without intimacy) or empty love (commitment without passion or intimacy).

5) There a negative change in your partner's behaviour

Changes in your partner's behaviour may be obvious. Still, the reason behind the change (especially a change for the worse) is often unclear. A negative change usually excludes the other party in the relationship and indicates a deeper relationship chasm. Often it is a sign of discontent, disenchantment or guilt. There are many manifestations of negative changes and even more possible reasons for it. Negative behavioural changes are red flags hoisted high above the structure of relationships.

6) The roving eye

Convention has it that if you are satisfied with what you have, there is no need to search for deputies, substitutes or replacements. If other people catch your partner's eyes too easily, your partner could be planning how to chew the grass on the other side. While it's unnatural to suppress your ability to identify good looks, there is a difference between acknowledging beauty and lusting after the goods.

This list is by no mean exhaustive. The fact is that there a many red flags in relationships- of different sizes and brightness. Not all red flags spell doom for your relationship. Indeed, there are few problems that are too insurmountable for relationship help. Relationship red flags are like vicious cancers and cyclical phenomena. Early detection and treatment can eliminate them or save you."

Source: Helium, by Darrell Victor

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