Dealing with Incarcerated Boyfriend

My boyfriend of 3 years was incarcerated a week ago for his third DUI in Texas. I lived in his house with him and had to move in with my older sister in her 1 bedroom apartment because I have been unemployed.

He has been sober for 10 months and goes to AA daily but still got jail time. He paid his attorney $10,000. The plea was for 54 months but his attorney said that he would serve about 7 months. I don't trust this guy, though.

What's hard is not knowing how long he will be in and where he will be.

I suffer from depression and anxiety and this has made matters worse.

Comments

April's picture

My heart goes out to you & would be wise to focus on you & your health for a while since your boyfriend is doing whats manditory for the circumstances created. Keep talking w/us here about anything you feel you want to.

Take care of you.

April

Choose wisely, treat kindly

jilthepil12073's picture

Thank you so much ! He is able to call me everyday but I still miss him. This relationship has caused me so much pain and grief and I'm really not sure what to do. I love him but am I supposed to wait ? I'm lonely.

April's picture

Waiting IS up to you. I personally wouldnt put my life on hold for too long of a time frame & sometimes is best to CHOOSE what YOU want in life & NOT let LIFE CHOOSE for you cause that can & will cause great resentment/frustration later on & alot of WHAT IFS or what could of been. I'll bet you ARE lonely although you have your sister around, but ask yourself if there are other things to occupy your time & fill the emptiness WITH? A hobby, taking walks????? While your looking for employment would keep you focused & feeling more productive in life, more purposeful.

Choose wisely, treat kindly

jilthepil12073's picture

That's true. Luckily, I just got a full time job. If I were to go out with someone else, I would feel guilty, however, I can't just hibernate and do nothing.

April's picture

Excellant, fulltime employment thats a start to more independency & self assurance/confidence for you & yourself to be capable of standing on your own.

Am not sure why you'd feel guilty though if you met & went out w/someone else as your not married?????? Are you engaged to the boyfriend? You'd mentioned previously you were LIVING w/the boyfriend. Would be wise to keep all your options OPEN to yourself as that is a gateway to a more happier you w/setting future goals w/someone if & when your ever ready to do that.

You'd said you suffer from depression so that may be the cause of isolating/hibernating, maybe the job will help remedy some of that.

All my strengths.

April

Choose wisely, treat kindly

jilthepil12073's picture

I have been hibernating. I don't feel like doing anything. I'm angry because this is the direction my life has taken. Sometimes, I would like to go out with someone but the thought of meeting someone new just makes me ill. I never dreamed that I would be in this situation.

April's picture

I understand that one as I still have days like that too BECAUSE of my past & I too never saw my life going this way either but what I learned the past couple of years has helped me in that usually our past IS a gateway to what the future hold for us & if we dont look at it & see it & learn from it then it will pretty much keep going in that direction. I have no doubt in my mind now that it all had to do w/the way I was raised & what directly/indirectly happened that I choose a very hard path, I can even see it sometimes for my 2 sons (18 & 26 now) & its hard to convince them to do things a different way as to not repeat history. If one really looks they can see the RED FLAGS marking the whole way.

Choose wisely, treat kindly

jilthepil12073's picture

I'm just really not looking forward to the holidays, either. I do miss him.

April's picture

I stopped doing my holiday traditions last year due to my circumstances & how I was feeling, it was a little odd at first & then was really ok cause my kids were busy doing other things so I decided to do it again this year w/NO peer pressure or guilt til I'm ready again in the future. I really wanted to start a new tradition w/going somewhere else & just enjoy being together w/someone & my family instead of presents.....its just stuff that I cant really afford & feels better to give from my heart NOT my wallet & that IS what holidays are suppose to be about anyway TOGETHERNESS.

Choose wisely, treat kindly

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