Have to feel something...
Cutting has been almost an obsession of mine for years... starting when I was 15 or so. After joining the military the intensity and frequency tripled. I am now 24 and during any major life change, loss, or rejection I find my mind stalled out. After intense spurts of depression my mind becomes numb. Sometimes months after the initial trigger I cut again just to feel something. I thoroughly enjoy it, during. Before and after I feel, shame I guess. Anyways, anyone have anyways of clearing their mind in other ways? Working out helps, but when I get the urge and I am alone, its like I want to do it. I know there are not many males that go through this. But my scars are getting pretty bad, and I can no longer even take my shirt off in front of anyone who doesnt know already. -Markus
Im not on here for wht ur going threw but when i was n middle school i use to cut. I had a very low self esteem. I couldnt talk to my friends cuz they wouldnt n couldnt understand my feelings. Couldnt talk to my family cuz my family is like a big mouth bass...when they open everything comes out n nothing is private. I cut for awhile and finally made myself stop for awhile. When i would get upset or get to that point id go for a bike ride or play papa roach or someother kinda loud pissed off music really loud and just sing and think that always helped me then i started to writr. Like keeping a journal. Not a diary but a journal. Some ppl find talking, writing, singing or wrking out helpful. And sometimes being alone is best, that way u can think n take ur mind off it or think aloud or if having someone there for company helps then kool but make sure u can find someone u TRUST to talk to.
You need to b careful on the cutting cuz u may end up getting kicked out the military or worse...killing urself. U have millions of vains and it dont take long to bleed out. Not sure how deep ur cutting but just b careful. Try and remeber u have ppl who care about you. U have ur family who im sure loves you n cares and friends who love n care for u and then u have all the civilians who thank you everyday for keeping us safe. It would b a tragedy if u were to slip up n something aweful happen to u. Just member that....and if u ever need someone to talk to im here...sometimes an outsides point of view is helpful. :) goodluck