When a guy makes last minute plans....

puppydoglvr's picture
[106520]

What does it mean when I guy doesn't really make plans in advance? I see it happening to myself and a couple of my girlfriends. I get that people are busy and sometimes want to go with the flow, but sometimes you start to get the feeling that you're an after thought. Essentially nothing better came up, so you're there as back-up.

Any thoughts or experience with this?

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 3
July's picture
[3205]
Sep 8

Not necessarily true. Some people are real go with the flow, and just because that isn't how you operate, doesn't mean it's wrong. Please understand, I am the complete OPPOSITE!!! So yes, has happened to me plenty of times. I am not spontaneous, I am a planner. I like to plan ahead and I'm meticulous about it. I'm sure there are plenty of times I've been a filler, but I also have certain people that would drop anyone and anything to hang out with me instead. So, who knows. If you're dating a guy and the efforts start dwindling, then maybe I'd get a tad annoyed with the last minute stuff but for the most part, if your schedule is flexible, then you should be flexible. But at the same time, I'm a firm believer that people should have respect for other people's time. Punctuality is huge to me, as is canceling, not keeping your word, etc. I make it pretty clear to anyone I'm dating that if I'm not having plans with him, I'll most likely be doing something else so please ask me ahead of time for plans, or else I'll initiate the plans of when I will be available. Granted the closer you get to someone, the plans start going without saying... but I see that this topic isn't there yet. Relationships take a lot of patience and sometimes just makes me want to rip my hair out!!

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tori981's picture
[10365]
Sep 8
1
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puppydoglvr's picture
[106520]
Sep 8

Thank you both so much for your fantastic insight and thoughts on this matter. You are so right in that some people are go with the flow and/or super busy and thus make time when they can. I think that sometimes it can come across negatively where you feel like a bit of an after thought, but understanding a person's life and their schedule helps a lot.

Thank you both again!

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