I don't know if I can/should keep going with this LTR
I been with my guy for almost 8 years now, we've been through ups and downs, great time, funs, cheats, lies, fights, arguments, trust and distrust, u name it we probably did.
The first half of this year though, I've been through some internal growth/depression, which result in my nasty mood and rudeness to him (call it a form of verbal abuse). It escalated when we had our biggest fight, concluding that we don't trust each other because of our histories, and me breaking up with him. (We're still live together, share same bed, etc, til this day). On August he started seeing this other kid, (I should mention that he's open to polyamorous) and they're still hanging til this day.
He says that I'm his other half, that i mean the world to him. I feel like he keeps this other kid around just in case things between us don't work out, then he has someone. I did try to leave him in Nov, but he was a wreck the day after, so i came back to stay at our apartment still. Yes, he still spends time with this kid, sometimes spending a night or two while I'm at our apartment alone. He asked me to wait for him to sort things out.
Part of me feel i don't mind being with him for the rest of my life, yet i feel like this is not right. Whenever i see this kid I'm reminded of all the times i cry or was depressed knowing he's over there sleeping together or having another relationship.
I think want to keep on fighting for this relationship because we always seem to make it through, but the thought of him loving someone else the way he loves me just really breaks my heart, and starting to take its toll on me.
u both agree he's manipulative. That's it, he's playing you. Please dont go back. Yet again, its up to u though
i wouldnt say hes manipilative exactly but very infliuential, perhaps its along the same line. what i agreed to was that the kid and i were kept out of the loop of each other (mainly i told my guy earlier i didnt want to know what they do, but i didnt expect intimacy to continue), so today was the first time the kid and i talked in a few months and the things that i found out were just unacceptable. i'm really am telling myself to not go back and be strong here, that i dont need all that complication in my life.
sorry you are going thru this. you may want to research "codependency" "abuse" and "manipulation". He's not taking any blame for his actions, it's "all your fault", which is text book abuse/codependency.
it will never get better, only worse. your only healthy choice is end ALL contact w/ him. he will continue to "influence" you in a negative, toxic fashion. you are young and healthy, don't waste your youth on someone who disrespects, insults, bullies and takes you for granted.
i found in the library "the verbally abusive relationship" by Patricia Evans (i think is the author). as long as we listen, we allow verbal abuse. give your abuser NO audience, that's his only power over you, gaining and keeping your attention.
contact your local abuse hotline/support group and get professional help. this is a critical/difficult/vulnerable time for you.
i'm happy you have your parents, i hope that is a safe environment for you.