My PTSD

weaver.chad22's picture
[105]

So my psychologist says that I need to talk about my PTSD to make my symptoms lighten.. So, here I am.. I would really like to talk to someone that has PTSD so I can reassure myself that I'm not the only one with this disorder.. I feel like I'm alone with this crap and I feel like no one else knows what I'm feeling and going through.. Is there anyone out there that can cope with what I'm saying and make me believe that I'm not the only one with this disorder? Please help!

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weaver.chad22's picture
[105]
Jul 7

'I can do this'... Is it not a good thing that I have come to and accept the fact that something IS actually wrong with me..?

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[5160]
Jul 7

Chad - you have an injury. There is a huge difference in my mind, but it may just be a nuance to you. Some people think something is wrong or bad about THEM, and to me, it is really important that people know that they are not screwed up, or a problem, or wrong, or weak, or bad, or any negative label that could be attached to it. This is not some arbitrary illness that has struck them like cancer.

It is not like depression or other emotional problems either, which typically stem from distorted thoughts and beliefs in the conscious mind. PTSD is subconscious - you don't even know what happened to trigger you but your body responds to a danger that you cannot talk yourself out of - or even identify sometimes. People with depression might or might not feel better after talking to someone, but they usually know why they feel bad and what caused it. They don't lose control over their bodily responses as we do with PTSD.

Yes - It is good to accept that you are dealing with PTSD right now - but that doesn't mean it is a life sentence for you to live with so I hope that is not what you mean. It just gives you the proper context to understand and communicate what you are experiencing. You aren't crazy, or mentally ill - you have an injury that needs to heal.

Though your injury arose from drug use rather than from an initial trauma - it is still an injury to your brain processes and chemicals that continue to be alert to danger in your environment. Now, I would imagine this whole experience has become a "legitimate" trauma for you simply by the pervasiveness and your helplessness to stop it. So it is even possible that your brain may have stabilized at some point but has since been triggered by your environment.

My last "bout" of PTSD lasted two months solid - from trying to get off anti-depressants. That never happened to me before. I couldn't get any relief from it even after 6 weeks back on the meds. That was horrible - but it was also a blessing because it got me to the right person that really can help me with this. In traditional therapy - I would have been there forever and it wouldn't have helped much at all.

I would really love to hear what your doctors believe is the right course of treatment for you, or what they think about your situation. I truly believe you can heal - the drugs are not in your body anymore so it seems as though they shouldn't be the cause of your continued PTSD state. I'm not a doctor though - I really messed up because I wish I were now after all that I have learned! The brain is fascinating - and it is plastic so it keeps learning and changing. The only bad things that are permanent come from lack of oxygen - and I don't think that happened to you - so hold on to your hope and keep asking questions and looking for answers!!!!!

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cjones43's picture
[2575]
Jul 7

I was going to send you a private message to say sorry that things went on and on in the middle of this whole discussion. But since I can't I will just do this. I am sorry, I was never meaning for things to go out on your discussion and I wasn't meaning things the way that person took it, it was all an accident of how I worded things because I just wrote what immediately came to mind. I did write them a private message so that is would stay off of your discussion but obviously that didn't work well for me.
So I am sorry, I didn't judge, I didn't attack, and didn't attempt to offend anyone. I will stay off of your discussion now I just needed to tell you that first.

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