My husband is addicted to Oxycodone

[60]

Last night was the fourth time that I confronted my husband about using Oxycodone. I have a strong bias regarding addiction. My brother was an addict for many years and I saw what drug addiction did to my family. He was diagnosed with a slight herniated disc about 13+ years ago, and went for treatment and use Oxycodone as prescribed at that time. About 3 years ago, he started to tell his primary doctor about his back pain and was prescribed Oxycodone. He identified at that time that it was the only thing to help his pain and he was only taking the medication as needed and infrequently. His utilization is something that he has always hidden from me and "kept me at arms length, because he knew how passionate I was" about drug misuse. The second time I spoke to him I told him that I was concerned about his increased use and told him that I thought he had a problem. I discussed with him that I thought he was depressed and asked him to seek help. I told him then that I would consider leaving if he did not get a hold of his addiction. At that time, he denied that he was addicted and "could not believe" that I would consider leaving him over this. This was about 2 years ago. I would ask him sporadically about his use and he would tell me that he was following his doctors orders and would only take it as he needed. Again, he identified that it was the only thing that would help him back pain. I encouraged him to use anti-inflammatory medications, acupuncture, physical therapy, etc. Anything to consider, I was desperate. The third time was this past April. I found some pills, confronted him yet again and told him that I was going to call his doctor and report his misuse. At this time he identified that he was talking 4 - 6 day. Again, he said he did not share this because he knew "how I felt about using." He did go to this doctor and tell her he wanted to stopped. I helped him detox at home and tapered use for 2 months. I utilized supplements and holistic replacements to help him. I thought that all was well and at that time, I asked him to commit to me and let me know if he could not do this. I explained that I did not want to be kept in the dark. He gave me his word. Things have just not felt right and I have been trying to connect the dots for the past few weeks. Last night I found his stash and confronted him and told him that I was leaving. He told me that he could not take it, he last for "about a week" and could not stand it. He says the withdrawl was unbearable. He said he want to get off the Oxycodone. He said that he has wanted this for the past 2 years. He shared that he is going to call a recovery center tomorrow. I am afraid and scared. I feel that I have been betrayed and lied to. He said that he is embarrassed and he identified that last night was a "watershed" moment. For the first time he identified that he "has a problem." For the first time he said "addiction." He is looking into Suboxone programs. I have been with this man for 32 years and married for 25. He have 2 beautiful children. We both have successful careers. All I can do is cry. I would appreciate anyone's perspective from a supporting spouses view. I don't know how to look ahead. I feel that I have been here too many times before.

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[70]
Sep 16

Coconut water can be found at any health food market or store. A lot of different grocery stores are starting to carry it. I came across using this for withdrawl when I was googling different alternatives since my husband refused to go through a medical detox. I came across the "Thomas Recipe" that suggest many items including benzos to help with withdrawl. Since my husband did not want to contact his doctor for a Rx for Valium, I found the "Larry Recipe" that uses Benadryl instead of Valium as well as listing different supplements. Coconut water was one of the suggestions. As I shared in my previous post, I purchased all of the different supplements, Valierian Root, Gaba, Super B Complex, Tyrosine, etc, and my husband shared that he felt "good" as we was titrating down. I am sure that I purchased many of the supplements out of desperation to help him in anyway that I could. He did go through his "hell" time. He has been there before and this time around was the first time that he did say he never wanted to go through that again. Only thing that he has stayed with is the coconut water. It is worth a look through. As you know, there is a lot of information out there and some things work well for some, just have to dissect through the information. There is a lot of supporting literature related to cognitive improvement with coconut water.

The longest period that he was every off of Oxycodone has been three months in the past. So we are just taking one day at a time, keeping busy and remaining hopeful. I don't nag and I try to make sure to ask minimal questions. Time will tell. He shares that he is determined to "never go back." I am holding on to that. I will be doing a lot of traveling with my job over the next 8 weeks, so my time at home will be limited to weekends. He has a plan to keep busy with exercise, family and friends.

Continued good thoughts and wishes to you and your wife.

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[70]
Sep 28

Checking in with you to see how you are. Things seem to be going okay. I have stopped asking and take things as they come. My gut is telling more something else. I asked my husband if he would pass a urine toxicology test, he got very defensive and upset with me. I just dropped the discussion. He is probably upset that I would even question him after the strides he has made. He did verbalize as he was going through his "hell week" he would never take anything again. He has made that commitment before as well. We will see. Again, I hope you are well and feeling good.

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Gregbo's picture
[45]
Sep 30

Hi... It does not sound to me like you will ever get a commitment out of your husband, not until you MAKE it happen,... TOUGH LOVE. You have to make a plan, Get PROFESSIONAL help. REHAB 30 day lock down...sounds worse than it actually is but it is true he will lie till he gets caught up and then he might run...hitting bottom is what it takes for most to realize and you have a long way to go before you hit bottom...BOTTOM...sells kids or pretends to, thinking innocently enough....(trusting kids with street people). Sorry to be SO EXTREME but it can go there in a hot flash. One BAD person. Bad judgment.

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