Married but, lonely

[1790]

I am a 35 yesr ol woman... I have had 5 kidds 4 with me on in heaven.. I hav been married snce i was 17 to my husband.. I think i am the loniness woman on the planet.. he works all day and comes home and wants to do nothing.. I cook, clean , take care of kids, doctors, and also coac a tball team.. I am usually really busy well ia m.. but only mainly with kids.. never him.. Our 4 year old still sleeps with us due to one we live in cond ad three bedrooms and 4 kids and 2 I lost my son before him at 13 days from birth defect and attached to him..
my marriage was hard before all this after son passed i went nuts cheated with his best friend and was gonna leave him for best friend..
Thats when everything stopped.. marriage everything.. now we go to bed peck and go to sleep.. thats it.... we never spend no time together and if we do we dont have nothng to talk about..
i feel we are more like frinds or brothr and sister then husband and wife.. ia m a stay at home mom.. i am scared to say to much if he makes me leave he probably will get my kids due to i dont work.. i cant live with out my kidss.. i am just tired of criing i want some one to hld me make love to me and spend time with me..what is wrong

show more ⇓
Comment
 8
View 5 More Comments
[1280]
Apr 6

JoJo
I understand how you feel. Don't do anything that you might reget later, like leaving. You should sit down with your husband and have a good old fashion talk. Ask him how he feels about you. You obviously married because you were atrracted to each other and loved one another. Having children does change things in marriages, and after 18 years, a realationship changes.

I was married 18 years and together 21. My husband recently passed away. As we all know, relationships go through changes. When we first meet, we spend a lot of time in the bedroom. Later we spend a lot of time in the kitchen and gain weight. We tend to take each other for granted, and stress on the job sometimes makes a man not interested in sex. Being with the same partner for many years, the sex gets boring and we fanaticize about others, I have myself, mostly with very good looking celebrities, as I'm sure he did also.

Although I never acted out and cheated, we do think about it, it's normal. Do not beat yourself up. You are lacking affection from your husband, and your love tank needs to be filled up. When a man or a woman give affection to the other, it's gives them self-confidence, which we lack when our significant other doesn't pay attention to us.

I have gone through this myself, it happens in every relationship. Sometimes we have to spice things up. During the week is a stressful time to have sex. Weekends are better. Try to get the kids out of the house or to a sitter. Go out to dinner with your husband, wear a sexy dress, put some makeup on. Buy some nice perfume. I like Dune by Christian Dior, and so do men I meet.

What happens is the passion leaves the relationship. I always remember the first time, that was the most exciting time, but we cannot have that first time back, but we can change the future.

I had gained a lot of weight and couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. After I lost my husband, I lost 30 lbs, and I got my confidence back.

Marriage is job and we have to make it work, it doesn't happen on it's own.

show more ⇓
Reply
[260]
Apr 6

Hope you day is better today.

Reply
[1790]
Apr 9

thank you so much this has helped me aot and i am sorry about your husband..we have talked until i am blue in the face.. i am giving him 1 more year and then we will see this is when my oldest turns 18.. i will give it my all in this year and if nothing i have to move on.. best wishes and thanks again..

Reply

Latest Posts

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account