Help with staying "positive" about being positive?
I'm a 20 yr/o African American college student and was recently diagnosed with HSV-2 about a week ago.
It's like my thoughts are constantly revolving around this diagnosis. I keep asking myself questions: How long have I had it? Who gave it to me? Did they know and just not tell me? How could I not know? What will my parents think, if I decide to tell them? What will future love interests think? Will I ever have sex again? Etc...
I feel somewhat dirty, ashamed and depressed and am just plastering on my smile for my family. My sister, my best friend, and my ex and current partner know. But I feel like my sister and friend can't really understand how I feel. My best friend is mostly supportive but keeps badgering me to tell my parents, and I just can't yet. I don't think she really gets it. My partner isn't angry or anything. We slept together for the first time the day before I found out I had it. My Ex is more focused on his jealousy of my current partner than the virus itself.
I'm just having a hard time dealing with this and have little support. I know it's not a death sentence. I can live a pretty normal life. But at the present time, it doesn't feel that way. Any advice?
keep smiling and stop feeling dirty. it is hard to explain this to people. so far, you've done well. the only person i told is my mother. we have an ok relationship but when i heard the news, she was the only one i felt i could talk to without being judged. i know my friends wouldn't judge me but like you said they don't fully understand. i don't know your relationship with your parents but tell them when you're ready. if you feel like you will never tell them, you're also a grown woman. it's ultimately your decision.
all of the questions and emotions you are having we've all been through. it's perfectly normal. i wish i knew who i got it from and how long i've had it too. it is a possibility that they don't know they have it. the future love interests will come and so will sex with the right person. right now just focus on you and educate yourself even more about your new life's journey. if you need to vent, talk or have any questions i'm here along with some cool people who helped me. welcome to the community.
Anyways I don't think people understand about this virus and how it makes us feel!!! Unless you here you don't understand!!! I have yet to tell anyone in my life and its been well over 4 years!!! It's a long time to keep this secret but I just don't feel comfortable yet!!! all I got is this web site!!! It's kinda sad in away but the truth is I learn more here than on the Internet that I never trusted and I'll learn more here than from someone who don't got this virus or disease we have. The point is why rush if your not ready? Tell your friend the time is just not right and you don't feel comfortable yet letting them know. Good luck!!!
be sure you & your other half understand and know all there is to know about HSV. it is paramount that both of you understand it thoroughly.
nobody needs to know and i don't recommend doing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. most people do not understand and unless they have it, will not be able to help you very much.
that being said, please start by studying these websites and remember we are always a "keyboard away" for you...