Great mother-daughter relationship talk got me thinking
I am privledged to attend these wonderful talks my daughter's pre-school director has once a month. This month's talk was on Building relationships between mothers and daughters and while it was so amazing how she weaves this great class along and I took so much away from it for my own parenting needs, it got me thinking about my own relationship with my mother. As some on here know-it isn't the best (or what I define as the best). We don't connect on the level I would like, but I have been realizing I need to let it go, I can't control my past, or her past for that matter, but I can control how I move forward. I feel so tense around her because she tends to be very self absorbed and one of those people that obsess over the same thing all the time (sort of like a broken record) and I'm kind of no nonsense (most of you guys probably realize that as well, but I'm being honest). However, she is the only mother I have and I do realize she did her best raising me while in a terrible marriage with another daughter that was born to fill the role of drama queen. So I am going to try harder not to be so judgemental and try to accept her as she is, not how I want her to be. Wish me luck in this endeavor!
Hey CK, given your new adventure, you'll soon be able to sepperate what your mother does and say's that you can enjoy and what you ignor being she's not going to change. I've had to do this dealing with my MS and my family. They care, they just don't understand. Instead of being pissed, I forgive and forget being they know not or don't mean to piss me off. It's been a nice release and can now enjoy my family and MS together. Enjoy seeing it in a different light!
The talk mostly centered around how we need to be mothers, not friends, our job is to protect and guide and that is what our children need and crave from us. This doesn't mean we have to be the "mean one" rather we are the one to help guide our daughters to the wonderful and successful woman they were meant to become.
That is a great reminder. It's easy to want to be their friend and their mom. I suppose if you do a good job of protecting and guiding the friendship will happen naturally in their adulthood. Thank you for sharing!