My adult daughter verbally abuses me.
I have been verbally abused for most of my life. First by my father, now by my 40 year old daughter. I'm afraid to be in the same room with her because I never know what I might say or do to set her off. We can go for a few months getting along ok (that means me constantly walking on eggshells), then I will say or do something to make her explode on me. I also have been suffering from chronic pain for the past 10 years (neck, shoulders).
My husband is supportive of me, but refuses to stand up to our daughter - she has never said an unkind word to him. I have a loving relationship with my son, and my daughter-in-law adores me. I also have loving relationships with my grandchildren. I'm ready to give up on a relationship with my daughter, but don't know what to do about her 2 children. I don't want to lose them.
I'm very depressed, taking anti-depressants and seeing a therapist. It's not enough. I can't seem to function on a day-to-day basis. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
That's the best thing for you. I do know how difficult it can be to get away though. Do you think they know how horrible they're being to us? Sometimes I wonder. I think it is also their attempt to control us but I can't fathom the reason. I finally got away and am really enjoying being the real me.
I have been abused my whole life, first from my Father, then my sisters, then my ex husband and now my 26 year old daughter. I spoiled her rotten when she was growing up, Moreso after I lost my oldest son from committing suicide....she will text me calling me a p.o.s and a moron. Her Dad means everything to her now even though he was never there when she was growing up, never.... He tells her that the only thing he did wrong while married to me was that he went out drinking. I finally told her the truth after being verbally abused by her for the past 10 years....I informed her through a text because she won't even talk to me on the phone, that her Dad lived in strip clubs then he would come home and rape me. I didn't want to have sex with him knowing he was in strip clubs. The last time he raped me I was 9 months pregnant with my daughter, he forced my legs behind my head, forcing my belly in my face. I then went into labor right after. I kept this from her until yesterday. Her response was OMG, you need serious counseling. This is the gospel truth, I am a Christian woman, I could have put him in jail but didn't.......My daughter is getting married next year and just knowing how bad she treats me and knowing her Dad will be there, I don't even know if I want to put myself through this. I have heart failure and was diagnosed 4 years ago at the age of 52, when I informed my daughter of my condition she said just dig a hole and jump in....I was the type of Mother that cooked 7 nights a week and was home with her every night. I am not a drinker but her Dad is an alcoholic and has 2 DUIs.....I divorced her Dad when she was 4 years of age after he busted my jaw open because I put him in jail for tossing hot coffee on me.....i I love when she just leaves me alone as there is no abuse... I keep telling her she can come see me anytime she wants as I only live 10 minutes away from her but she never comes by.... My son committed suicide over a girl but I think deep down she blames me. My son loved me and would have never treated me the way she does.... I'm lost
I endured verbal abuse for years. When it got physical it took me a few years to really realize it. It was shortly after I left because someone gave me a place to go with my two small girls. You both need to get these people out of your lives. I know it may seem hard but they are not showing you any love, compassion or anything else you need. I love you more than they do and I am a stranger. There is nothing there for you. You don't need them abusing you at every turn. You need to cut them out and stop letting them run or ruin your lives. It's easy for us to see because we are on the outside but try to put it like this, if your friend was going through the same thing what advice would you give them? Step back, take control and start living the life you deserve. Don't let them take anymore from you. They just don't care and it is something wrong with them not you. Can you honestly say you think you deserve any of this? It would take a pretty horrible person to say yes. Please think about this. You are not what they say. They are sick. Don't let their sickness continue to ruin your lives. I would also say that if you can find a doctor or support group who can continue to tell you that you are not to blame. You are worth more than that.