recovering -- now what?
Are there any women recovering from eating disorders out there? I had anorexia for about 5 years but am well down the road of recovery (physically, anyway). I'm still noticing some lingering self-esteem issues, though, and they're unfortunately affecting my relationships. It should be noted that I've seen therapists during and after my sickness. Despite treatment and help, I'm still feeling frustrated; my last serious relationship was pretty much ruined because I always felt like I wasn't attractive or good enough -- and I don't blame my ex boyfriend for that, either, because he did his best to make me happy.
I do well in college, I'm driven, hardworking, and I have wonderful friends and family. After what I thought was enough time to learn to love myself, I felt ready for a relationship again. I'm so happy I'm no longer a victim to my eating disorder, but the mental effects (not feeling good enough, feeling jealous of other "skinny" women, bouts of anxiety, etc.) are still there, even after therapy. My current serious boyfriend is amazing, and he never gives me reason to be worried about anything. But lately I've been distant, feeling "fat," ugly...you probably know what I'm talking about. What do I do? I love my boyfriend so much, but I feel myself ruining things again. What should I do?
This happens. Do not give up, take one step at a time. This feelings go up and down. Have faith, you will win. God bless you.