Adult Children Ignore Good Parents
I wrote a long letter before, but it didn't go through. Just learned I had to join a couple of groups. But I would like to start another discussion.
What is wrong with these adult children who ignore good parents. I finding this to be an epidemic
I will try to shorten my life story, but I prayed for 10 yrs. for children, adopted two from overseas now 24 and 27. They ruined my marraige after 30years, which I ended up getting a divorce, etc.. Which at the time of divorce, I was 54 years old, my ex would not abandon the daughter who walked out on me 5 years ago, after I was a good mother, I have since heard from her or even a card after I tried to contact her three times, by letter, telephone calls and facebook. The son, who is now 27 only wants money, if I'm lucky I see him Christmas Eve, no phone calls, no cards, nothing, etc...
I'm finding out this has been done to other parents more and more.... I am beyond myself, I have went to counseling for 10 years, and in these years I coped with my only sibling a brother committing suicide, two unloving parents, who I still check on, my mother at 84 lost her leg, my father at 85, has Alzehimers and they are still in their own home, I work a full time job because before getting a divorce my husband told me he wanted nothing more to do with my parents. So here I am all alone.
But I still cannot grasp what is wrong with these adult children??? I l would like some insight.
Kitty, i feel sorry for you. But you have a problem not easily answered.
My 2 sisters have pretty much done the same to me and my folks. I've never gotten a straight answer from either one of them. If they won't tell you what's wrong you can't fix it or start new. The only solution is if they call me and want to talk, i'm done trying. One way streets don't work for me. My folks have taken them out of their will except for a small amount.
I don't blame my folks at all and if you did the same i could sure understand it. If you want to act like family do it, if not then go do your own thing. It's been tough on them just like you. But as the old saying goes you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink. So they need to come to you, you've tried. Make your will to a friend or charity.
If i were in your shoes i'd make sure they knew that also.
I'll say it one last time, if they won't talk to you how can you work with them to fix it. It's impossible!
So do what you can to make yourself happy and carry on, some day they may come back. But until then there isn't a thing you can do. And i sure wouldn't give the boy who is supposed to be a man by now a single dime.
Sorry for no good answer but there isn't one.
I have to agree with Michael there is no quick answer to the whys in this and instead of willing your funds to them will them to the organizations that handle the kind of adoptions you had or the orphanages that your children came from so that another child doesn't have to go without or fund a charity that teaches other young ladies sewing skills so they can make a better life for themselves. there are so many great ways to leave your assets to that leave a mark behind to help so many others then two ungrateful children or their spouses
You and your husband did what you could for them you gave them a loving home that they might not have had if not for you in a land that gives them these freedoms that allow them to turn away from you. You clothed them feed them and educated them all things they might not have had if not for you and your ex but they can not appreciate all that and this is something to feel pity for but what you can't do for them now you can do for so many others who will be grateful for it.
Is this still an active support group site for parental neglect?