Severely depressed and all alone on the holidays....again.
I just don't understand why I am always alone on the holidays. But I suppose it isn't just the holidays, I feel lonely year-round - even when I do have people around me. I feel like I seek a connection with others that is so much deeper than what others seem to be able to give. Is this part of codependency?
I don't feel comfortable going to my families for holidays because of past abuse issues; I used to join other friend's that weren't going home for the holidays either; and now I'm just so depressed and isolated and it feels like a cycle that just feeds into the other.
I feel completely worn out on life and this isn't want I expected my life to become at all.
Any advice will help. :(
Okay, sounds like you are saying that you have tried everything and nothing is working? Is that what you are saying? I can now look back and see when there were times I had tried something but it didn't work and I can see now that I just wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to break through my denial and fear, I wasn't ready to face the truth and the inevitable consequences of. When I was able to face the truth the consequences were sooo drastic and dramatic. I now sleep in a basement on a really lumpy couch that I got out of the garbage but you know what I live in truth and I have never been so free and I actually can say in all honesty that I have felt actual happiness. Yes, happiness
That is wonderful that you feel happy and free. I have been in search of that my whole life. I'm moving further away from those happy days from the past, but I feel so much closer to being where I want to be. Healthy, happy and experiencing FREEDOM. My apologies if I wasn't clear, but I am definitely ready to do whatever work is necessary - because living with the residuals of my pain is worse than the alternative of seeking treatment(in my experience of things). Sometimes it takes awhile to find a medication regiment that works. But I am determined to do so!
Awesome. One step and one day at a time. God Bless