Bullimia 20 years!!!! Tired!!!!
I recently just fully realized that I have been Bullimic for twenty years and I am only 33 years old!!! There are very few times in my life where I don't remember binging or purging, every time I decide in my life that I am going to stop I gain and then I get obsessed with losing. I recently just have birth to my third son and I am struggling because I almost completely stopped purging during my pregnancy so I still would binge sometimes and I really feel like I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy, I try to remind myself that it's not the most important thing but really that's what it seems like, I have decided I will finally tell my counselor at my next appointment but I am scared I won't be able to because I have not been able to the last two times, I also have looked into support groups but I am afraid to go because I think I will be the biggest one there and people will judge me and think I am ridiculous, I am overweight right now. I want to stop!!!! I cannot imagine what twenty years of doing this has done to my body, but I am also afraid because I don't know how I will recover and lose this baby weight? Or what recovery entails. I do not want to share this with my fiancé. I just know I need to do something.
Yes you must tell your counceler, what your doing is very unsafe for your baby I hope u find the corage!
I am the same age as you and have had this on and off for 16/17 years. It has to stop for both of us. Our hearts could stop beating at anytime and what would happen to our kids!!?! I am not extremely overweight but have been and this bulimia is outing the pounds on me fast so what's the use in doing it. Don't feel like you are ridiculous because you aren't. You are worth it. So am I. I have had a binge/purge free day today for the first time in so long. It feels awesome. I too want to lose weight. Lets both focus on getting better first and getting out bodies and metabolism going correctly again and then we can lose the right way. I am here for you!!
Thank you, I did try today and just didn't do it but today was better then others lately. I am going to tell my counselor tommorow. I called a support group and got information and there next meeting is Feb 7 so I put it on my calendar, I really do want to stop this. It's different this time because I am a little obsessed with looking up information on what this is doing to my body and its scary I don't think I ever looked into it before because I didn't want to know. I just made my self believe it was harmless. Anybody I told never even really seemed to care. I was married in my early twenties to a very abusive partner and I mistakingly told him and he said I was stupid and wasting money on food. I guess I thought he would care for my health and if he didn't then it must not be a big deal, it was humiliating and I am afraid of others response to my disorder but I just need to take that leap. Your kind words really mean a lot. I do need support and other people that know what I am going through.