want to help
Today is my first day here. I have a daughter, 20 who had BPD. I watch her suffer, her moods rage out of control, her lonliness, and her wish to not live any longer. I came here to help her, to help you, if I can, and to find out if there is something you know that you wish your family would do for you. So far I just stay with her. I am here,I try to help her, but there is never anyrhing that I can do. She gets so angry with everything I say, but I feel like I still have to try.Watching her cry and suffer alone is horrible. I give her money so she can shop for little things, she is so bored and lonly that is all that helps sometimes, but we are in debt, we dont have money and it makes her hate herself more knowing that she spends money that we dont have. IDK what to do. Any advice, I mean what would yousay to your parent , if you could ask for helpand you knew they would do anything in the world for you.
Let me just say that I really wish I had a mother like you. Growing up like a lot of us here, I had no support of my family. SO many parents just abandon their children emotionally because they think their mental illness is just too much to handle. This is the easy way out and is so hurtful to the child. The best thing you can do is exactly what you are doing, just love her and be there for her. You can't make her see the light, she has to find it on her own. I can tell you that it really can get better though. I am around your daughter's age and even though my situation is very different as I am married and living in a completely different state than my family, I have learned so much over the years about my mental illnesses and found happiness. I truely believe your daughter will come out on the other side of this cruel illness seeing as though she has such beautiful people around her. Just give her hugs and kisses, I can't even tell you how much I wished for that during my childhood. You are a wonderful mother.
That is really sound advice. I've just recently realized that same truth myself, that I have to solve my own problems and find my way. I'm glad that I'm now taking steps to improving myself.
Thank you brycees Momma, I sooo appreciate hearing what you said. We just talked today and she said she cant imagine anything good enough to live for coming in the future. She said even if the best thing in the world happened she sti;ll doesnt think it is worth one more day of apin. She is worse now then ever, and I am very very afraid for her.
I feel like she needs to go to the hospital but she doesnt want to go, and I TOTALLY understand. She was in so many when she was either suicidal or had attempted suicide, none of them helped her, she just felt angry and more hopless. Most all hospitals here or on my insurance are mainly for addiction or alcohol, there are dual disgnosis programs but still they revolve around an addiction of some sort and not directed at her, she feels like it is a waste of time as well as she comes out feeling even more alone because people arent relative to her problem.
Has anyone had any sucess with hospital programs or any med combos that work? When she os this bad, she she cant turn her thoughts from doom and death. I heard her begging for a miracle tonight alone with her sobs. I wish so badly that there could be one!
Thank you for your time to write me. It was so kind! And i am so happy to hear that you found happiness. One of her woprst problems is that she feels so unattractive, she os overweight and has bad acne, soshe doesnt even want to go out much but she does try, and its too hard to make a freind just by going to a store or talking a walk, but she is too insecure to try going to a meeting or volunteering or anything like that. it is a bad situation and I can relate to her hoplessness. She told me today that ever girl wants to feel pretty and have friends. She is RIGHT! I dont know what to say to her, i tell her she is pretty (and she is) but that is just a mom talking, she doesnt beleive it or want to hear it. She has an older sister who is perfect, has the beautiful looks, clear skin, 7 year relationship, good job, you name it. That makes it worse for her too. Oh my gosh I am falling apart. My dear girl is just sleeping now, we have been up for 24 hours, so I am going to try to sleep now too.
Thanks again for listening and all of your advice. It is comforting that people care and want to help.